I lost the pound I gained last week.
I made a decision. I am hiding the scale until Thanksgiving. I am just going to work on making better choices and hitting the gym and worrying less about what the scale has to say. I think I am mentally tied to hitting that 50 pound mark and am just moving so slow.
It all stops now....well, I have to get through tomorrow's Halloween party, then I will be all set to rock-n-roll. I'm already having a hard time. I baked cupcakes and have already had one. That on top of the muffins I made this morning, I have a stomach ache. I just cannot have this stuff in the house. I'll be chewing a lot of gum to get through today and tomorrow.
I do plan on working out this afternoon. I have to. There will be no time to tomorrow.
What are your weekend plans? How are you getting through Halloween?
Friday, October 28, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Post Check-Up
Have you ever noticed when you hear an old song on the radio, you are snapped back into a memory from that time period. Like when I hear Prince's Little Red Corvette, I think of my girl friends from high school and how we'd turn the radio up as loud as it would go to sing and dance like a bunch of mad people. Or when I hear Lonestar's Amazed I am right back in my husband's arms wearing my wedding gown dancing our first dance at our wedding.
Or how about when you buy a new package of Scotch tape and think about Christmas (that's what I always think of anyway). When you pop open a new box of Crayola Crayons and think about the days of elementary school.
I am sitting in the waiting room of Dana Farber Cancer Center. I just washed my hands and am overwhelmed by the smell of the soap. The soap smells of a serious illness. How do I know what a serious illness smells like? Does illness even have a smell? If it did, it would smell like the soap at Dana Farber. Which is just silly because when I was here nine months ago, I thought the soap smelled of babies; reminding me of the birth of my boys. It's all relative now though. I am no longer birthing babies but rather fighting to keep myself cancer free.
I started to write this entry while I was at my appointment yesterday. I'm usually in the waiting room a long time and really wanted to capture for you, and me, what I feel like and what I am really thinking while at the center. I was called into the offices rather quickly though so wasn't able to really finish my thoughts. It's OK. Next time.
That all being said, my visit went rather well. Still don't have the results back on the protein levels (that's an important one for my condition), but everything else was OK. I did ask Doc about my Raynaud's. It seems a lot worse than last year. My fingers and toes have been feeling the effects of the cold a lot earlier in the season. That had me a bit concerned. Doc decided to run a few more tests but the likelihood of my having whatever-it-is that he was thinking about is so slim. In other words, it's doubtful that the Raynaud's and the MGUS are related.
So, it seems I can go on about my business again until my next check up in three months. I'm not nervous about my protein levels as everything else was in check. I'm not letting the MGUS define me or control me. Although I will admit that it does for about 1-2 weeks prior to my check ups. Once I see I am fine though, I move on. This is me moving on.
Or how about when you buy a new package of Scotch tape and think about Christmas (that's what I always think of anyway). When you pop open a new box of Crayola Crayons and think about the days of elementary school.
I am sitting in the waiting room of Dana Farber Cancer Center. I just washed my hands and am overwhelmed by the smell of the soap. The soap smells of a serious illness. How do I know what a serious illness smells like? Does illness even have a smell? If it did, it would smell like the soap at Dana Farber. Which is just silly because when I was here nine months ago, I thought the soap smelled of babies; reminding me of the birth of my boys. It's all relative now though. I am no longer birthing babies but rather fighting to keep myself cancer free.
I started to write this entry while I was at my appointment yesterday. I'm usually in the waiting room a long time and really wanted to capture for you, and me, what I feel like and what I am really thinking while at the center. I was called into the offices rather quickly though so wasn't able to really finish my thoughts. It's OK. Next time.
That all being said, my visit went rather well. Still don't have the results back on the protein levels (that's an important one for my condition), but everything else was OK. I did ask Doc about my Raynaud's. It seems a lot worse than last year. My fingers and toes have been feeling the effects of the cold a lot earlier in the season. That had me a bit concerned. Doc decided to run a few more tests but the likelihood of my having whatever-it-is that he was thinking about is so slim. In other words, it's doubtful that the Raynaud's and the MGUS are related.
So, it seems I can go on about my business again until my next check up in three months. I'm not nervous about my protein levels as everything else was in check. I'm not letting the MGUS define me or control me. Although I will admit that it does for about 1-2 weeks prior to my check ups. Once I see I am fine though, I move on. This is me moving on.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Catching Up
Sorry I have been away from the computer. My eyes have really been bothering me. I'm starting to wear my glasses on a more regular basis. Not liking it, but I have to.
Weigh in for Friday: up 1 pound. Not at all surprised. This week may not be much better...getting to that in a second.
The weekend was OK. I have a lot on my mind. Today is check-up day. Heading into Boston very soon to have my protein levels checked. It seems that even though I say I am OK, deep down I am worried that this will be the time he says I need another bone marrow biopsy or more testing. Chances are though that everything will be fine. So, I am giving myself until the end of the day today to get over this little bump and will be back at it hard until Thanksgiving. I promise. I promise myself that I am going to work as hard as ever for the next month. No excuses. No nothing.
Until then, I need to get through today.
I will keep you posted. Like I said though, I know the chances are that everything will be OK. It's just difficult to think about the "what ifs".
Weigh in for Friday: up 1 pound. Not at all surprised. This week may not be much better...getting to that in a second.
The weekend was OK. I have a lot on my mind. Today is check-up day. Heading into Boston very soon to have my protein levels checked. It seems that even though I say I am OK, deep down I am worried that this will be the time he says I need another bone marrow biopsy or more testing. Chances are though that everything will be fine. So, I am giving myself until the end of the day today to get over this little bump and will be back at it hard until Thanksgiving. I promise. I promise myself that I am going to work as hard as ever for the next month. No excuses. No nothing.
Until then, I need to get through today.
I will keep you posted. Like I said though, I know the chances are that everything will be OK. It's just difficult to think about the "what ifs".
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
FMM: Sterotypes (on a Tuesday)
Yesterday just got away from me. I logged on to post a number of times but kept being distracted. To add to that, my head has been achy. I *should* wear glasses while I am on the computer but I haven't been and now I have a headache that just won't stop bugging me. It's my own fault. I really need to have the glasses adjusted (they are progressive lenses), but have been too lazy to get to the mall.
I am starting to think that this week is going to be a rough weigh in. I'm feeling like I'm holding a ton of water and my face looks like it's more full. My body takes a while to react to things so I'm thinking this may be from last week's fair-going and other things from then. Going to try to push the water and hit-the-gym hard for the next few days. I won't be too upset if I don't hit the 50 pound mark this week though. I knew the poor decisions from a week ago would catch up to me at some point.
And one other thing before moving on...I used to belong to an online message board for weight loss. The board was shut-down a few years back. One of the ladies decided to open up another board. It's very new. Not many people are there to chat with, but it's still a great community. If you have a moment and would like to stop by, we'd love to have you.... WeCanLoseIt.proboards.com
And now onto Friend Makin' Monday....a day late and a dollar short....
I am starting to think that this week is going to be a rough weigh in. I'm feeling like I'm holding a ton of water and my face looks like it's more full. My body takes a while to react to things so I'm thinking this may be from last week's fair-going and other things from then. Going to try to push the water and hit-the-gym hard for the next few days. I won't be too upset if I don't hit the 50 pound mark this week though. I knew the poor decisions from a week ago would catch up to me at some point.
And one other thing before moving on...I used to belong to an online message board for weight loss. The board was shut-down a few years back. One of the ladies decided to open up another board. It's very new. Not many people are there to chat with, but it's still a great community. If you have a moment and would like to stop by, we'd love to have you.... WeCanLoseIt.proboards.com
And now onto Friend Makin' Monday....a day late and a dollar short....
If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
FMM: Stereotyping
Have you ever been the victim of stereotyping? If so, will you elaborate? What do you wish people thought of you as they notice you for the first time?
First I would like to say that there is a reason there are stereotypes. I don't get upset and offended by it because it's just a matter-of-fact. For example, I don't get upset when people tell me a Polish joke (I am Polish). I know Polish people aren't dumb, we just tend to look at things in a different way and people perceive that as being dumb. I also don't get upset when people talk about the Irish temper...I am also a bit Irish and have been known to let my Irish out a bit. It's all good. I don't go crying about it. It's a simple truth to laugh about. And that's the point, you have to laugh about it. If you can't laugh then you'll be crying and what good is that?
That all being said, I hate "fat" stereotypes and get angry when I see the people who have created them. You know who I am talking about. The people who have given up all hope. The ones that don't shower and wear nothing but sweatpants and big 'ol sloppy shirts. You know what I am talking about right? It breaks my heart when I see people like that. I always said to shoot me if I get to that point.
And I was almost there. 50 pounds ago, I was almost to that point where I was about to give up all hope and say to hell with it. It was so hard to keep up with daily tasks. I was winded. I was tired. I was depressed. I hated going out in public. I didn't want to look people in the eye. Could they see my pain? Did they know that I was a human with feelings? Were they going to be mean to me or cast me dirty looks? I hated it.
I still kinda do hate being out in public. Not as much as before though. I chuckle at things a little easier now. Like when we were at the fair last week there were these two boys (teenagers) who made a comment about my size. I honestly chuckled and thought to myself "oh, you have no idea". That is, no idea how far I've come. No idea at how strong I am.
I have had many comments and looks tossed my way through the years. I honestly can't pinpoint any one in particular to tell you about, but I can say that yes, I have had the stereotype thing tossed my way. Most of the time though I just hold my head high and move along. It tends to shut that stuff down right in its tracks.
Now it's your turn...
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Weekend Wrap-up
What a crazy weekend! My husband took my eldest down to see his parents on Saturday so it was just my little guy and I for the day. We went off to run errands and had a nice little lunch together. It's so nice to have one-on-one time with the kiddos. Although, I do have a lot of one-on-one time with the little guy while the bigger one is at school during the week. You know what I mean though.
This morning I took my eldest to Church. The first time in a long time, I am sad to say. My husband and I grew up and were married in the Catholic Church. Both of the boys were baptized in the Catholic Church, but we just never really were church-going people. I don't want to get into it but it's more that we don't agree with a lot of the Catholic Church's rules and the way they handle certain situations. Anyway, last year we started attending a Methodist Church. We really liked the Church and the Pastor was wonderful. The problem though was that if you missed a week, people were questioning you as to why and making comments that should have been kept to themselves. There were a few other "issues" that also led us to decide that it wasn't a place for us.
So, here we are in the Catholic Church. Again. My son is now a year behind his classmates as far as his first communion will go. He's OK with it though because there are a few kids in the neighborhood that are in the younger group so it's not like he doesn't know anyone.
So, here we are attending (Catholic) Church for the first time in a very long time. We walk in the front door, I bless myself with the Holy Water. I turn to show my son what to do and he dips his WHOLE HAND in the water. I was HORRIFIED! There was a man coming up the stairs who saw the whole incident. Needless to say, he was none-too-happy too. I was laughing on the inside, horrified and mortified on the outside. I had to have a chat with him when we sat down. He took it in strides. Me? Not. So. Much.
So, there is my funny story of the weekend. And for some exciting news....
I wore a pair of jeans yesterday that were falling off...literally. They were really uncomfortable being so big. I would have changed had I had some clean clothes. This morning while I was getting dressed, I decided to dig out some new jeans that I bought on clearance over the summer. I didn't think they would fit, but thought it would be a good idea to have them out as incentive to keep movin'-it. I put them on. Got them to my hips and thought "there is no way"...I then got them over my hips and thought "OK, that's great, I will never be able to button them though". I was wrong again. They did button! They were a bit on the tight side, but they buttoned. I wore them anyway. My top was long enough to cover the tightness in the belly. I enjoyed being in yet another smaller size and being that they were a bit tight it reminded me not to overeat.
And the Patriots made off with a win. Rough game, but a win.
I would say it was a pretty good weekend.
I'm just about ready to step into a terrific week! I get to meet an online friend in person on Wednesday. So excited about that! Then on Thursday I will celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary. And Friday had best be 50 lost on that scale! (If not, it's OK - we are going to The Cheesecake Factory on Wednesday and then out to an Italian restaurant on Thursday).
This morning I took my eldest to Church. The first time in a long time, I am sad to say. My husband and I grew up and were married in the Catholic Church. Both of the boys were baptized in the Catholic Church, but we just never really were church-going people. I don't want to get into it but it's more that we don't agree with a lot of the Catholic Church's rules and the way they handle certain situations. Anyway, last year we started attending a Methodist Church. We really liked the Church and the Pastor was wonderful. The problem though was that if you missed a week, people were questioning you as to why and making comments that should have been kept to themselves. There were a few other "issues" that also led us to decide that it wasn't a place for us.
So, here we are in the Catholic Church. Again. My son is now a year behind his classmates as far as his first communion will go. He's OK with it though because there are a few kids in the neighborhood that are in the younger group so it's not like he doesn't know anyone.
So, here we are attending (Catholic) Church for the first time in a very long time. We walk in the front door, I bless myself with the Holy Water. I turn to show my son what to do and he dips his WHOLE HAND in the water. I was HORRIFIED! There was a man coming up the stairs who saw the whole incident. Needless to say, he was none-too-happy too. I was laughing on the inside, horrified and mortified on the outside. I had to have a chat with him when we sat down. He took it in strides. Me? Not. So. Much.
So, there is my funny story of the weekend. And for some exciting news....
I wore a pair of jeans yesterday that were falling off...literally. They were really uncomfortable being so big. I would have changed had I had some clean clothes. This morning while I was getting dressed, I decided to dig out some new jeans that I bought on clearance over the summer. I didn't think they would fit, but thought it would be a good idea to have them out as incentive to keep movin'-it. I put them on. Got them to my hips and thought "there is no way"...I then got them over my hips and thought "OK, that's great, I will never be able to button them though". I was wrong again. They did button! They were a bit on the tight side, but they buttoned. I wore them anyway. My top was long enough to cover the tightness in the belly. I enjoyed being in yet another smaller size and being that they were a bit tight it reminded me not to overeat.
And the Patriots made off with a win. Rough game, but a win.
I would say it was a pretty good weekend.
I'm just about ready to step into a terrific week! I get to meet an online friend in person on Wednesday. So excited about that! Then on Thursday I will celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary. And Friday had best be 50 lost on that scale! (If not, it's OK - we are going to The Cheesecake Factory on Wednesday and then out to an Italian restaurant on Thursday).
Friday, October 14, 2011
Week 29
Down 2 pounds this week.
Total: 48.3
Hopefully next week I'll hit the 50 pounds lost mark!
Measurements....
Chest: -2.5 inches since Day One
Bust: -2.5
Upper arm: -1
Waist: -5
Hips: -2
Upper Thigh: -3 (I can really see the difference here and in my waist!)
The biggest number is in the waist. 5 inches! Wow! I have "birthing hips" as my hubs likes to say...am happy to see that area shrink, shrink, shrink. :)
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This morning I ran to the gym after putting my eldest on the bus. I did a quick 10 minute cardio on the bike then onto a full body strength training workout. I really wish I had my monitor on today! I kicked my butt. Would love to know what my burn was because I felt like I worked harder and ever.
After the gym I headed on over to my last physical therapy appointment for the plantar fasciitis. I'm going to miss that...it was a great way to burn a few extra calories during the week. But, I am happy my feet are a bit better. I will still have to do all my stretches and icing. Will probably have bad days, but at least they are a bit better than they ever were. Baby steps. We were joking about my shoulder though. She was asking when I have my follow up with that issue and wonders if she'll see me soon after that. (hope not!)
And onto the weekend. No big plans. Have a lot of running around to do and will work on getting some activity in. After today's workout, I feel like I could take on the world right now. I love this feeling! Just have to remember that tomorrow when I don't want to do anything.
Hope you have a great weekend!
Total: 48.3
Hopefully next week I'll hit the 50 pounds lost mark!
Measurements....
Chest: -2.5 inches since Day One
Bust: -2.5
Upper arm: -1
Waist: -5
Hips: -2
Upper Thigh: -3 (I can really see the difference here and in my waist!)
The biggest number is in the waist. 5 inches! Wow! I have "birthing hips" as my hubs likes to say...am happy to see that area shrink, shrink, shrink. :)
-----------
This morning I ran to the gym after putting my eldest on the bus. I did a quick 10 minute cardio on the bike then onto a full body strength training workout. I really wish I had my monitor on today! I kicked my butt. Would love to know what my burn was because I felt like I worked harder and ever.
After the gym I headed on over to my last physical therapy appointment for the plantar fasciitis. I'm going to miss that...it was a great way to burn a few extra calories during the week. But, I am happy my feet are a bit better. I will still have to do all my stretches and icing. Will probably have bad days, but at least they are a bit better than they ever were. Baby steps. We were joking about my shoulder though. She was asking when I have my follow up with that issue and wonders if she'll see me soon after that. (hope not!)
And onto the weekend. No big plans. Have a lot of running around to do and will work on getting some activity in. After today's workout, I feel like I could take on the world right now. I love this feeling! Just have to remember that tomorrow when I don't want to do anything.
Hope you have a great weekend!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Kickin' It
What a terrific week at the gym! I've been kicking some serious butt (mine)! I've managed to get into the gym everyday this week and have an appointment in the nursery for the little guy for tomorrow morning.
I was hurtin' today though. I was doing my routine on the bike to start and felt like I was sucking wind and my legs were going to fall off. I had to keep the resistance down while pedaling for my life just to get my heart rate up to a reasonable level. I decided to take it a little easy on myself tonight. My body is clearly telling me that I need a break.
Remind me to take measurements tomorrow! I am feeling smaller. Gotta love that! I was looking at myself in the full length mirror while doing some exercises tonight and thought "Wow! You've really lost a lot of weight". What a great feeling!
Keeping it short tonight. I am wiped out. Can't wait to see what the scale has to say for me tomorrow.
I was hurtin' today though. I was doing my routine on the bike to start and felt like I was sucking wind and my legs were going to fall off. I had to keep the resistance down while pedaling for my life just to get my heart rate up to a reasonable level. I decided to take it a little easy on myself tonight. My body is clearly telling me that I need a break.
Remind me to take measurements tomorrow! I am feeling smaller. Gotta love that! I was looking at myself in the full length mirror while doing some exercises tonight and thought "Wow! You've really lost a lot of weight". What a great feeling!
Keeping it short tonight. I am wiped out. Can't wait to see what the scale has to say for me tomorrow.
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