Just give me the drugs

Still not me. 

Really sucks being this messed up inside! 

Went to the DR today. That was fun. She *finally* agreed to put me on meds. She said she wasn't diagnosing me with depression (even though I AM DEPRESSED right now), but will diagnose me with PMDD. Fine. Whatever. I really don't care what the diagnosis is, just give me the pills! 

We talked again about the baby thing. I told her I cannot even begin to think about weather or not I want another baby in the condition I am in. I did say that I probably won't have another one. Not knowing what may happen with my MGUS and all, it's probably not the best of ideas. Again though, not a decision I am going to make right now. 

She also brought about the weight thing. Then pulled it back to the baby thing, you know, how I would be at a "high risk" pregnancy. Blah, blah. Yes, I know. She mentioned how she was 180 pounds when she was preggers and had gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. Yeah? "I was 350 pounds when I has my kids, both were fine and so was I".  Her jaw DROPPED! I think I shut her up right there.  Yes, I am aware of the elevated risks. Today is NOT the day to talk to me about it. 

She continued along the path of me not wanting to listen to her anymore so I stood up and put my coat on. I still can't believe I did that. But hey, I warned her that I am in a mooooood, thus the need for meds!  

Needless to say, I have my prescription now. She put me on Welbutrin. I don't like the sound of all the side effects but I will take my chances. The side effects of  my not being on anything right now are way worse for me and the people around me. 

Hopefully I will be back in a few days. I really miss myself!