Weekend Update

It's official.

I have a cold. Ugh.

This one isn't all that bad, as far as colds go.  I don't feel run down until I go to do something. Like yesterday when my son asked me to come watch him "do tricks" on the swingset...I was winded walking across the yard!

My little guy is fighting the cold too. He was up at 5 this morning complaining that his "mouth hurt"...whatever that means. He wouldn't let me take a look at his throat but I'm more thinking that his little mouth was dried out from the cold. I feel the same way buddy.

On top of the cold, I'm fighting a bit of depression. My emotions are on a roller coaster right now. We have some personal stuff going on that we are just "waiting for the shoe to drop". Impatiently waiting. We don't even know how long we have to wait for. Waiting sucks. There is nothing we can do about the situation, we just have to wait to see how it plays out.  Do you know how horrible that is for someone like me who is a complete and total control freak? Yea, it sucks. Waiting without worrying...it's what we are trying our best to do. Most days are good but some are "meh" at best. Trying to keep a positive outlook though.

Then I have another little situation that's been going on for months now. I have a group of friends that I hang out with... I've been feeling a bit outside the group for months and months. Some days it really bothers me and others I think it's just in my head. Today is one of those bad days where I'm feeling really left out (nothing in particular that I can put my finger on as to why).

Then there is the financial "crisis" we are feeling right now. I've started looking for a job. I'm thinking I may need to go back to work full time which is pulling at my heart strings. My little guy is having a really hard time with going to preschool 3 hours a day, 3 days a week...I just can't imagine what it would be like sending him 8 hours a day for 5 days!  It breaks my heart. And yes, I realize that (most) people do it. I've just been really lucky and haven't HAD to up to this point. I keep hoping that we'll find a way to get through this little bump, and we probably will, we always do...but the bumps seem to be happening more and more especially with the kids getting older and wanting to be involved in more activities.

SO, it's no wonder I'm not losing weight. I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I've been trying really hard to stay positive and work through it all. And on the outside it may appear that I have it (mostly) together but on the inside I am fighting the tears and the negative talk. I'm so overwhelmed with all that I have going on that I don't even know what to do with myself. Seriously. This morning, for instance, I just sat in the comfy chair in the living room and zoned out for about 20 minutes. Hubs thought I should go back to bed because I wasn't feeling well (that was part of it), but mostly it was that I was trying to work through the plethora of emotions that are going on in my head and heart.