It's just past 8AM and I'm already having a rough day. I knew it was going to be a rough day to begin with but now that the time has come...oh, boy.
First, both boys have field trips today. I had planned on going with my eldest on his field trip as they had invited anyone who wished to come to follow the buses. The problem came when we received notice that my little guy had a field trip on the very same day. My little guy has issues with school. He has separation anxiety in a big.bad.way. So, when they have field trips, his teacher's allow me to be a chaperone.
What broke my heart is when my eldest asked me if I was going to follow the bus. I had to explain to him that his brother's teacher already asked me along to that field trip and Daddy tried to get some time off of work but just couldn't. He felt a bit deflated. So did I. I'm thinking I may take him out to dinner. Just the two of us. Tonight.
The part that has me deep in the dumps. We had to put our sweet kitty to sleep today. Hubs is on his way to bring her to the vet. I can't do it. I know that may sound terrible, but I just can't. I'm sitting here trying to keep a cool face while fighting the tears. I don't want my little guy to know until tonight when we break the news to both boys. I've been hinting to my eldest that he needed to give Sabrina lots of hugs and kisses to make sure she knew he loved her. He knows that her days were numbered, but didn't know that the clock was really running out.
So, goodbye my sweet, sweet Sabrina. You were a one of a kind cat. You put up with the family (5 kids) who had you before you chose us. We adopted our 2 cats from a shelter. Hubs chose our other cat and Sabrina chose me. She followed me around the room and would tap me with her paw. I finally realized that she needed to be with us. Oh sweet girl, kitty heaven is getting a true angel today. May you rest in peace knowing that we will all miss you terribly. Thank you for picking us to be your people. We love you.
{{hugs}} for you all - so much tough stuff going on! Hope tomorrow is better!
ReplyDeleteSo sad for your loss of Sabrina :(
ReplyDeleteThat's really sad about your kitty. I hope you and the boys had a nice eulogy about kitty's good and important life in your family.
ReplyDelete:-) Marion
This is the first time I've ever read your blog, and I only skimmed the post -- if there were a way to contact you privately, I would, as I'm not one to offer unsolicited advice/criticism. But making up for your son's disappointment by treating him to dinner out sets a precedent of "when something doesn't go my way, I medicate with food" -- that was my immediate thought. Going for a walk alone with him or doing some other project together might have been a better way to make up for not being able to attend his field trip. Also, and pardon my profanity, FUCK GUILT. You can't be everywhere, all the time, or be everything to everyone every minute of the day. That kind of thinking = Nice Girls Finish FAT. Feel free to delete; my brand of medicine is strong and rather difficult to swallow but your post really struck me that those two themes (food as drug, motherly martyrdom) are the overriding factors in your struggle.
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