Really hating my body today! Up 3 pounds!
I know why. And it steams me just thinking about it. It's also another reason that I hate this battle. It isn't just a battle for me, it's a downright WAR!
This past weekend, I went out with my Mom for girls day. I started the day doing a two plus mile walk. I had a decent breakfast. Lunch wasn't so hot, but I didn't finish my plate. I decided at lunch that dinner would be small to make up for some of the calories I took in. I came home to fine homemade mac & cheese- a HUGE downfall of mine. I talked myself out of having it. Me, myself and I had a long chat about how crappy I'd feel after indulging. I indulged at lunch - that was enough. I was all ready with my plan of attack. Alas, the mac & cheese won. Damn it!
Then Sunday happens. Hubs decided to make his homemade tomato sauce (I do that every Wednesday, using Jillian's recipe) with meatballs. I put some sauce aside for myself so I wouldn't have to have the added fat and calories from the meatballs. I had. a. plan. Then I went and made homemade bread, which would have been fine if I had eaten something else during the day. I ended up eating a ton of bread. What was wrong with me? It's OK though, I had a plan to bring calories in for Monday and Tuesday - if I pulled off a little loss and/or stayed the same, I would have been happy.
But no. My foot has to act up forcing me to be still. Sure, I did a little Yoga yesterday. I also worked with the medicine ball yesterday. Not enough calories burned.
It's all good though. I am taking one more day to rest my foot, then all bets are off for the remainder of the week. My calories are on target, my workouts will follow.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I hate my body right now. Mainly my right foot. The Plantar fasciitis is acting up again in a big way! Last night I hopped on the treadmill armed to do a great workout. During the warm-up I felt a pop in my heal and that was the end of that. I iced my foot and did an upper body workout while sitting in my chair.
Today I am feeling OK. Just OK. My heal is sore, it's best that I let it rest. I'm feeling sorry for myself right now. I need to exercise. Not just for the weight loss, but also for the depression. I find my mood is much improved after a workout. Doing smaller workouts such as the one I did last night, doesn't seem to boost the much-needed endorphins my brain needs.
That all being said, I decided to pick up a Yoga DVD today. I've done a little Yoga on the Wii. (just a side note that I love the Wii fit - if only my board would work consistently!). The pickin's were slim so I ended up going with Rodney Yee's Yoga for Beginners. I watched a good chunk of the video before trying. Wanted to know what I was getting into before getting into it. :)
Doing the exercises proved to be tougher than I first thought. The instruction is fifteen minutes long. The time went fairly quick, even when I was feeling the burn. I'll add the Yoga to my routine, especially right now when I have very little choices in what I can actually do. I know how important it is for me to stay with some sort of routine. If I don't, I will not only get back into my old eating habits, but will probably also need to start back on the meds. Can't. Have. That.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Where has the time gone? It's been so long since I've posted! Mainly because I just haven't been feeling it. We've had so much going on around here - good and bad, that I just haven't been able to put any energy into blogging.
Just to play a little catch-up and then onto the best story of the day, the visit to my good old Doc. As far as the weight loss goes - it's finally happening! I'm down 9.4 pounds and am really starting to feel alive. I have a LONG way to go but will take every ounce I get with open arms!
I've been walking everyday (well most days) with the Moms from the bus stop. The bus rolls away and off we go! To add to that, I also walk on the treadmill most nights. I alternated the treadmill workouts a between a nice 2.4 mph with incline 1 to 2 for approx 40 mins and an interval walk for 20 mins. (a pre-programmed workout). All while I stream 24 or some other crazy show I haven't seen from Netflix. Tally all that up and it probably equals about 3 miles, give or take .5. Not too shabby.
On top of all the walking I do some strength training. I need to be careful because #1 I have plantar factitious which hurts like heck if I stand the wrong way and I can feel that my knee isn't too happy with me. For those reasons, I focus on the upper body a little more than the lower. I can already tell I am getting stronger!
This week I tried to spice things up by adding Jillians 30 day shred. KILLED me! But it felt GREAT! That was until I woke up the next morning unable to walk because of the plantar factitious. I was a little worried working on the squats with the shape of my knee, but thought I would chat to the Doc. about that when I see her....
Now to the fun conversation of the day! I went to my Doc. for a follow-up in regards to my coming off my depression meds (I had post-partum). She wanted to make sure that I was adjusting OK and didn't need to try a new medication. The good news is that I've been feeling really well. My moods have been relatively stable and it looks like I can stay off the meds. Then the fun starts. :D
First, let me bore you with a little history and a preface about the Doc. For those who know me, know I've struggled with weight my entire life. No matter how hard I work at losing, it just doesn't want to come off! So, I give up. Who wouldn't? And you're probably thinking "give it time!" Well, I have. I've been on every program imaginable and done all the exercising to go with it and would fight like hell to lose ounces at a time! Sure, once in a while I may lose 5 pounds all at once, but mostly would be ounces to 1 pound at a time. Gets frustrating quick when you are busting your tail!
Now about my Doc. I stick with her because I like her. There are times I want to shake her though - today was one of those days. There have been a few times that I've contemplated leaving her practice too. But I haven't because when it comes down to it I am comfortable with her.
OK - now the fun part. So we chat about the meds and move on to the weight issues. She knows what I have gone through to lose weight. I even participated in her medical weight loss program! She knows how frustrated I get. She knows how depressing it is for me. (CRAP! Maybe I should stay on the meds! ;-) She also knows the health risks (she should, right?). She's asked me before to have surgery. She's practically begged me to do it! I even went to see a surgeon friend of hers once - as well as another one when I was doing HMR with the hospital. So, to answer your question and hers, yes, I have thought about it. The trouble though is that when I did the HMR program, I was told by the counselor there that I would have to have the by-pass surgery because the way my body holds onto everything - lap-band wouldn't help me enough. I told her that it's off the table and I am not discussing it any further.
So, we move on to what I am doing now. I explained the all organic foods, the no-processed stuff and no artificial this or that. I told her how great it feels to eat so clean! I feel clean. It's amazing. Then I reviewed with her that I walk everyday with the Moms in the morning. I hadn't mentioned anything yet about walking at night too, when she stops me to say that she's concerned for me walking. She feels that I have too much weight on me and my frame can't handle the walking. WHAT?!?! She feels that I'm going to have issues with my knees and hips. She went on to explain the dangers of knee replacements. "It's all about calorie restriction when you are this size" she said. Really? Really? Honestly, I think she's trying to scare me into having the stupid surgery. Not. going. to. happen.
And to be clear about the exercising...I do not have any other underlying health conditions that would cause her concern. My BP was 101/66 (is always right around there), my cholesterol is near perfect, I don't have diabetes. Suffice it to say that I am a fairly healthy heavy person, for now.
Let me note that I am not against surgery. I am against it for me. Right now. Maybe someday if I really can't get under this or if my health suddenly goes south, I will think about it again. Until then, I will keep on truckin'.
Posted by Jenn at 9:48 AM