Sunday, September 30, 2012

Weekend Update

It's a pretty slow weekend.

The weather is lousy. I actually turned on a little heat last night. Not the whole house heat, but the little electric fireplace heater that we have. It was just enough to warm up the living room, get the chill out.

Hubs took our elder son to New York City for the weekend so it's just been myself and the "little" one. I would have loved to take him apple picking or something like that but with the cold and rain, it just wasn't in the cards. We ended up at the mall. He's a great date! We split a little personal pizza from Pizza Hut. Not the best of choices, but when you're only having half, it's not so bad. We also picked up some Halloween crafts to get ourselves into.

My bringing up the Pizza Hut pizza leads me into a thought I had last night. I was scouring the kitchen for something to eat. Not just anything...something not processed. Because It's just been the little one and myself for the last three days, I haven't really cooked anything. I am so tired of quick, processed foods!  My body is screaming for something good to eat. You know, a full, yummy meal. So I think I will get on that today...I'll need something home cooked and delicious for the football game this afternoon.  I just don't know what.

I realized late on Friday that I didn't weigh in.  I did, however, check on Thursday because I felt lighter.  As of last Thursday, I was within a pound and a half of what was gained the previous week. I will weigh in tomorrow morning so I can update my September total.  Just hoping to keep it the same.

Friday, September 28, 2012

On the Up Swing

Boy! I've certainly been Debbie Downer lately.

I hate getting into these funks, but I know we all need to experience them once in a while, it's how we learn and grow.   There is a part of me that is feeling a bit better today, but I have a ways to get it all together.

My cold is just about gone and my shoulder pain seems to be at bay. I was able to have a kick ass session at the gym.  Did a 5 minute warm up on the arc trainer, my 30 minute kick ass session with the trainer and then 15 minutes on the bike. It was the first time in a week that I was able to go from one activity to the next with little to no troubles. It's about time this cold takes it's ball and goes home!

Having a kick ass session in the gym did help (a little) with my mental status. When I have a good workout, I generally feel like I can take on the world. And I felt like that until I walked in the door to the house and realized how much work I had to do to get the place in order. There were three loads of laundry (folded) that needed to be put away, the floors needed sweeping and/or a good vacuum and the dishes were piling up. That was all I could see when I walked in the door. I HATE leaving the house dirty in the morning. I really do. And this is why. I fought the tears and frustration and got myself together so I could pick my little guy up at school. I then avoided coming home because I just didn't want to deal with all the crap that needed to get done around the house.

I fought tears for a lot of today. I need a break and there just isn't one coming in the near future. I had to push that all aside and just "do it". Now that everything is (mostly) done, I feel like a huge ton of bricks has been lifted off my shoulders.

I worked with a different trainer on Wednesday - Bob is his name. Anyway, he asked me what my triggers are for food and/or eating.  This would be a huge one! When I am overwhelmed with a million and one things to do, especially when I am burned out, that's when I will eat. I caught myself doing just that earlier this week. Instead of just doing the chores or whatever it was I needed to do, I found myself scouring the cabinet for a distraction. If I'm eating, I can't be cleaning (or whatever it is I need to do that I'm clearly avoiding).

I'm most certainly an emotional eater!  I beat (most) of those emotions today though. I just did what I needed to do and now I can concentrate on me.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

"Just Keep Swimming"

Trying to keep Dory in mind and "just keep swimming".

That's about where I am this week.

I can't seem to get a hold of my head. I'm in a million different places and am not quite sure where to begin: with anything. I feel like I'm just hanging out in some sort of limbo, just existing. I can't quite put my finger on what is exactly wrong. It's not all bad but it certainly isn't all good either.  I'm not (quite) in a depression...I've certainly had my fair share of that!  This isn't it. I just think I have too much on my mind. Too much to work out. Too much to do, physically and mentally.

I guess I should start by breaking everything down.

1. Still hanging out in limbo with the one item I really don't want to talk about. It's a waiting game. This is something I have zero control over and (honestly) I've been able to put it aside for now.

2. Still looking for a part time job. I *almost* feel like it's not what I'm supposed to be doing right now though. A few of the positions I've tried applying to have already been filled. I've applied for a few other positions but have yet to hear anything.

3. I feel like I'm in chaos. I have a hard time with clutter and everywhere I look there is clutter (that includes what's going on in my head). Keeping it basic though, it's clutter in the house. I'm trying to change out the summer for fall clothes. Putting away and taking out all the seasonal decor. Going through toys and such that the kids no longer play with. Even all the stuff that I don't "play with" any longer. So much clutter. Now, don't get me wrong, my house isn't like one on an episode of hoarders- but I sometimes feel like it is.

4. Weight issues: The personal training is going fairly well. I've had to see two other trainers with in the last week. One of them I will be working with on a fairly regular basis. He kind of scares me. But in a good way. I'm still frustrated about last weeks gain but have put it in the past. I peeked on the scale this morning and I'm very close to being back to where I was prior to last Friday. That's one positive. I want this cold to exit the building so I can go ahead full force!    My shoulder and feet are small bumps in the road, but are both things I can work around.

5. I'm tired. Really tired. Mostly mentally, but tired nonetheless. I need a vacation. My family needs a vacation. Unfortunately we had to cancel our upcoming (Thanksgiving) vacation to Disney.  I'm pretty bummed about it, but it's life. There will be other trips. I'm hoping we can plan a smaller (local) trip to a fun place around Thanksgiving.

Needless to say, I am trying to control what I can control. Trying to compartmentalize the things I can't. It's sometimes easier said than done but I'll get there. "This too shall pass"

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Pain, Pain, Go Away

When it rains, it's pours.


I did something to my shoulder at the gym yesterday. I ended up heading over the the Doc's office because I couldn't move my head to look left. Made for terrible driving!  Thank goodness hubs could come home to help me out with getting the kiddos to their activities. I really wasn't feeling up to risking putting them in the car with my not having full range of motion.

So, what happened to my shoulder?  Well, apparently my muscle is very, very tense. I need to keep stretching and not lift heavy things for a few days to let it rest up.  She gave me some muscle relaxers to help me sleep (I didn't need 'em). I felt pretty good when I woke up this morning but am slowly losing the range of motion as the day progresses.

Despite my shoulder/neck being all uncomfortable, I was able to get some things done around the house this morning.  It's amazing what a clean(er) house can do for the spirits!  I've been in such a funk lately with my mood. Most of what's causing it is out of my control. Hubs told me again today that I need to put things into buckets and focus on what I can control and the rest will fall into place. He is 100% right (Shhhhh....don't tell him I said that!).

I applied for a parttime, seasonal position this morning. I'm a little nervous about the whole prospect of going back to work, even for the short term. I'm going to scour the help ads today to see if I can apply for a few more positions. Going back to work is really going to throw a wrench into the schedule, but we'll figure it out. It's what people do. My anxiety is more for my little guy but I can't worry about that until I find something.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Blah blah and FMM

Thanks for the nice comments yesterday!  It's so tough when you're physically not feeling well and then you have a million and one things on your mind to bog you down too.
I'm not really feeling better today. In some ways I'm actually a little worse. This cold is kicking me hard!  I can't breathe, I can only hear a buzzing, swishing sound in my ears...I just want to snuggle up on the couch. CRAP!  I think I really have it this time...a Man Cold! (HAHA! Sorry hubs)

Alright, keeping things short today...just going to do FMM....
If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Fall Favorites

1. What is your favorite thing about this time of year?  I love the crisp air, pumpkin flavored everything, crisp apples, outside activities (apple picking, corn mazes, fairs), FOOTBALL, the leaves changing colors...I could go on and on. 
2. What do you hope to do again before Summer is officially over?  I think summer has officially ended. I bet we'll still have some warm days ahead though. 
3. When did you last go on a hay ride?  Last fall. Going on one Wednesday with my son's school. Can't wait!
4. What is your favorite pumpkin dish?  Pumpkin anything!  Pie, muffins, ice cream...mmmmmm
5. Do you decorate your home for fall?  Already done! I am a huge Halloween fan! 
6. Do you have any hobbies that are seasonally specific? If so, what are they?  No, I'm an all year scrapper. Although my favorite topics (other than my kids) to scrapbook about are fall activities.

7. Apple cider or hot chocolate?  Apple Cider in the fall. Hot Chocolate in the winter. 
8. Are you a fan of football?  If so, who is your team?  Ummm...if you know me, you know the answer to this one. ;-)  I LOVE football! Go Pats!  (OK, so I wasn't happy with the game last night, or the one from last week...there is always next year - haha!)
9. Share a fond Fall memory.  Going to the fair. It's one of my favorite activities! I'm not sure we'll get to go this year though. :(
10. It’s not Fall until…Opening day for the Pats. Just sayin'. 

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Weekend Update

It's official.

I have a cold. Ugh.

This one isn't all that bad, as far as colds go.  I don't feel run down until I go to do something. Like yesterday when my son asked me to come watch him "do tricks" on the swingset...I was winded walking across the yard!

My little guy is fighting the cold too. He was up at 5 this morning complaining that his "mouth hurt"...whatever that means. He wouldn't let me take a look at his throat but I'm more thinking that his little mouth was dried out from the cold. I feel the same way buddy.

On top of the cold, I'm fighting a bit of depression. My emotions are on a roller coaster right now. We have some personal stuff going on that we are just "waiting for the shoe to drop". Impatiently waiting. We don't even know how long we have to wait for. Waiting sucks. There is nothing we can do about the situation, we just have to wait to see how it plays out.  Do you know how horrible that is for someone like me who is a complete and total control freak? Yea, it sucks. Waiting without's what we are trying our best to do. Most days are good but some are "meh" at best. Trying to keep a positive outlook though.

Then I have another little situation that's been going on for months now. I have a group of friends that I hang out with... I've been feeling a bit outside the group for months and months. Some days it really bothers me and others I think it's just in my head. Today is one of those bad days where I'm feeling really left out (nothing in particular that I can put my finger on as to why).

Then there is the financial "crisis" we are feeling right now. I've started looking for a job. I'm thinking I may need to go back to work full time which is pulling at my heart strings. My little guy is having a really hard time with going to preschool 3 hours a day, 3 days a week...I just can't imagine what it would be like sending him 8 hours a day for 5 days!  It breaks my heart. And yes, I realize that (most) people do it. I've just been really lucky and haven't HAD to up to this point. I keep hoping that we'll find a way to get through this little bump, and we probably will, we always do...but the bumps seem to be happening more and more especially with the kids getting older and wanting to be involved in more activities.

SO, it's no wonder I'm not losing weight. I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I've been trying really hard to stay positive and work through it all. And on the outside it may appear that I have it (mostly) together but on the inside I am fighting the tears and the negative talk. I'm so overwhelmed with all that I have going on that I don't even know what to do with myself. Seriously. This morning, for instance, I just sat in the comfy chair in the living room and zoned out for about 20 minutes. Hubs thought I should go back to bed because I wasn't feeling well (that was part of it), but mostly it was that I was trying to work through the plethora of emotions that are going on in my head and heart.

Friday, September 21, 2012


Prefacing with I'm not giving up...

BUT, this is why I do give up. Every single time.
Today is WI day. I know I am more than just a number on a scale but this is crazy. I am UP 6 pounds. Now, I would love to say that I've been lying. I've been lying to myself, to you, to everyone. I'm not eating as well as I should be. BUT,  that is NOT the case. My calories have been spot on. My workouts are insane. There is no way on God's green Earth that I should be UP 6 pounds!

I'm going to give it some time. There are a few things going against me right now:
1. TOM is nearly exiting the building.
2. I have a UTI
3. I'm fighting a cold AND allergies.
4. I'm under a lot of stress. I really need to start wearing my night guard again before all my teeth fall out from my clenching so hard.

So, I am not giving up. I am allowed to be frustrated. I am allowed to hate the scale. I'm allowed my pity party for a moment. I will take my frustrations out in the gym this morning.

I will break through this. Although, it shouldn't be happening during week 3!!! Just sayin'.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

On the upswing

Feeling a lot better today than I did yesterday.
Once I start coming out of my hormone haze, it's like a fog has lifted. It may seem crazy to some, but believe me, it's how I feel.

Been a crazy busy day.

I woke up to no foot pain. I'll say it again. I woke up to NO foot pain! I was in shock!  Usually after doing the treadmill, I'm dead in the morning. Not this time. If you have plantar faciitis or know someone who has it, you can understand the kind of pain I've been referring to. Anyway, I just got these heel cups that are supposed to help with PF and it seems to be working!  I'll keep trying trying them for a week and will talk about them more if I find that I'm still in little to no pain.

All that being said, I was able to hop on the treadmill again this morning before getting my butt kicked at the gym. My calorie burn today was close to 1000 calories! YEAH! I'm seeing some weight loss in my face but the scale is showing I am up. We'll see what Friday brings (my official WI/log day).

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Feeling the blahs

I've logged on a hundred times today trying to think of something to talk about. Sure, I have a million and one things on my mind - not one of them has a thing to do with weight loss, eating right (or not right), exercise, bettering myself, etc., etc.

I was just feeling blah today.
It's tough being a woman. We have all these hormones to deal with on a monthly basis then you throw in pre-menopause and/or in my case PMDD (untreated at that), it makes for all sorts of fun. So yeah, today was a blah day. I'm hoping to be coming out of it usually lasts about a week or so and we're approaching the week now.

So there I was sitting in my living room staring at my treadmill. It laughs at me. It taunts me. It knows I should be on it, abusing it, but my feet just won't let me. Well, I was sitting there doing nothing. Feeling all blah. Wanting to hide under a rock (I almost said die, but that's not quite what I mean but I can't really explain how I feel when I get like this and I really don't want the suicide police coming to my door- it's not like that - but almost. Ugh. I wish I could put it into words). When I decided to throw caution to the wind and go for a walk. On the treadmill. Yup. My feet are going to yell at me soon but the rest of me is thanking me!

It is so amazing how a little exercise can change your mood instantly. There I was feeling all "death like" (again, using very loosely) and now I feel like I'm on top of the world. I'm proud of myself for shoving the moody blues aside. I'm even prouder for not turning to food to help me feel "better".

Now it's time to ice my feet and settle into something fun for the night.

Tomorrow morning is a gym day. If my foot is OK in the morning, I will hop on the treadmill before hitting the gym. Might be a bit ambitious but we'll see. Again, it will all depend on my feet. I know I can tell my moody blues to shove off.

eta: as of 10:30 PM, so nearly 3 hours after the treadmill, my feet are crying. Will ice again and see what the morning brings. 

Monday, September 17, 2012

Happy Monday!

I was dragging this morning!  Big time. I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to get the kids ready for school (OK, so who am I kidding, hubs usually does that part - I am so lucky!), I didn't want to do anything. And the thought of going to the gym? Ugh! It's a darn good thing I had an appointment to keep or I certainly would have been "bad" and not gone. 

The funny thing about workouts though is they tend to get me out of that Monday Morning (or any morning) funk. I killed my workout today. D even said I'm getting stronger and have more stamina and it really hasn't been all that long. Go me! 

So, I started my Monday morning by burning about 600 calories in a little over 30 minutes. What did you do?

 Blog Stuff

1.  Have you ever met anyone through your blog that led to an in-person friendship/relationship? No, not yet. My blogging ambition comes and goes. Even today, I really didn't have a topic to write about (thank goodness for Kenlie and her FMM!)
2.  Most bloggers have a specific niche.  What would you discuss if it didn’t seem inappropriate on your blog? I don't know if it would be "inappropriate" but it doesn't fit the purpose of my blog...but I would talk about scrapbooking. I did have a scrapbooking blog for a while but like this one, I wasn't the best at keeping it up. 
And sometimes I would like to talk about politics. Mainly because I've been banging my head a lot as of late. But I really don't want to get into "fights" with people online. It's just not my style. See Friday's post. 
3. If you could meet three bloggers, who would they be? I would have to go with Stephen over at, Ali Edwards (scrapbooking), and Marion over at because she is such a terrific cheerleader! 
4. If you had to choose between Facebook or Twitter which one would you choose?  Facebook. Hands down. I really don't "get" Twitter.
5. Do you vlog (video blog?) No way, no how. I hate my voice. 
6. How many blogs do you read on an average day? It depends on my mood. When I am all about getting onto my blog, I will read all that are on my blog roll (at least). When I'm not in a bloggy mood, I'm lucky to read the few faves that I have. 
7.  What is the coolest thing that you’ve seen online recently? I have to second Kenlie's answer. Made me cry! 
"I saw a postvia Roni’s blog recently entiteld “Hey, Fat Girl, and it stopped me in my tracks.  I had tears in my eyes and chills down my arms."
8. If you gave your blog a new name what would it be? I wouldn't change it. I chose this name because I love to scrapbook and thought I would talk about scrapping once a week (that was the original plan) and because of that love I thought the name fit me. 
9. Have you ever attended a blog conference like Fitbloggin?  If not, would you? I've never been. Up until last year, I had never even heard of it.   I'm not sure if I'd go or not. I'm a really quiet and shy person at first...but once I am comfortable with my surroundings, all bets are off! 
10. In the past I have asked why you blog.  Now I want to know why you read blogs?  What do you take from it?  Mostly for inspiration. Inspiration to keep working out, to keep eating right, or to get scrappy or other crafty ideas. 

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Why must we be rude?

Not much going on around here for the weekend. I don't have anything particular to write about either. I think that's why I blog for a while then go away for a while and come back to it. My blog is set up to be about my journey through weight loss (and other random topics I feel like complaining talking about). There are plenty of other things that are on my mind other than this weight loss stuff. And as much as I would love to write about them, I really don't want to have internet arguments with people. Yes, I am talking about politics. Now, I really don't want to talk about specifics! Seriously, I don't....

...but the other day I just had to jump into a conversation that was happening on Facebook. Honestly, I try my darndest not to post political things on my own page because people don't care about my opinion and quite honestly most of my Facebook friends are on the other side of my way of thinking. Anyway, someone posted something the other day and I stupidly read the comments (never, ever do that if you're passionate about a topic one way or the other) blood was boiling! I had to go and stick my two cents in. I was nice. No name calling. No pointing fingers. Nothing rude. Just pointed out a few ideas. Of course I knew I was going to catch some flack for it but I couldn't help it, I just couldn't bite my tongue. And so began the banter;  two of us who had a nice back-and-forth with our differences of opinion. He at one point got mad at me though and said something (almost) not nice. I called him on it and he ultimately apologized.  We continued on with our friendly banter until the third person jumped in and ripped. me. apart. Seriously dude? Back off!  I called him out on it too. Basically told him that there was no need to speak down to me or to treat me like a child. The world goes around because we have differences of opinion, no need to be rude. Then I thanked guy #1 for the talk and said I was done. All done. Then guy #2 tells me that I only speak to people who think the same way as him. Really?  Did you read the other 90 comments on the subject (yes, there were 90 replies - mostly between myself and guy #1), I CLEARLY speak to people with differing opinions so long as we can treat each other with respect. Ugh.

So, my complaint/question is why do people think it's OK to throw manners and kindness out the window when speaking with someone online?  I mean really? Sure, I had some "choice names" and words for guy #2 but I kept those tightly locked up in my head while I banging on my key board with the kind way to tell him to fly a kite or go play in traffic, as my father used to say. I guess the old adage of "if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all" goes right out the window when you are looking at a screen. How sad.

Alright, off my soapbox now. Sorry. Just had to get that off my chest.

Hope you enjoy your weekend!
I went to a kid's birthday party this afternoon and then around dinner we went for a short hike with my son's cub scout den. Tomorrow it's all about football. Gotta love Sunday's in the fall!

See you Monday!

Friday, September 14, 2012

Friday, Friday

Yeah! It's Friday!

Some people wonder why I would care what day of the week it is. I am a stay-at-home mom after all...that must mean I don't work. HA!  Of course I work!  I may not get paid with cash, but I do get lots of payment of hugs and kisses and smiles and laughter....I love my job and wouldn't change it for the world!

OK, I will get off my soapbox before I really get going here.

Training. Training. Training.
What can I say?
I'm half dead.
I'm loving it.
I'm *hating it* (not really, but you know what I mean - I hope)

I am in a world of hurt!  I thought on Wednesday that my abs were going to hurt. Nope!  My hamstrings and gluteus maximus was in maximum hurtville! Seriously. Every time I sit in a low chair, I grunt. My little guy thinks it's hysterical and mimics me any chance he gets!

When I walked into the gym this morning, D asked my how I was. I told him I can't even tie my shoes because it hurts so much. He smiled big and said "let's go!"

I was thinking today would be more upper body stuff to give my poor legs a bit of a break. No. Such. Luck. I told him how mean he was and at one point I said "you want me to come back, right?". He just laughed some more.  All the joking aside, I know that working my lower body is going to jumpstart my weight loss. I remember when I was working with the trainer a year ago, as soon as we focused more on the legs, the weight started to move.

Speaking of weight, as of today I am down 10.7 pounds!  In just a few short weeks!  Only 23 more to go before being were I was a year ago Christmas. I just can't wait to start feeling the weight loss again. Some of my clothes were getting tight. Others I had to put aside because they just didn't fit well. Soon I'll be able to wear anything in my closet again!

What a great feeling!

Anyway, plans for the weekend:
My son has a birthday party to go to tomorrow afternoon then he's off to do some scouting activity. I'd like to join in on that one - they are going for a short hike. We'll see what my legs are doing.

Sunday we have church stuff - my son has his religious ed class this week. And of course it's football Sunday!!  GO PATS!!!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Putting on the gloves

So, I haven't really updated my training situation. I had said that I received a good deal on the training sessions and I'll be training three days a week. It's going pretty well. Today was my third session. The routine will be Monday, Wednesday and Friday while my little guy is at school. Anyway, today's work out was rough no, brutal!  I don't think I've ever sweat so much and I'm pretty sure I found my abdominal muscles today...(you know when you laugh so hard, I mean really, really hard and your stomach hurts? - yeah, those muscles). Today's 30 minute workout felt more like a 60 minute workout! I wish I had my heart monitor on today!!  
(Note to self: wear my monitor!). 

So anyway, one of the things we did was a little boxing. Man is that fun!  And boy is it a workout!  He said that most of his clients (especially the females) really like it and ask to box all the time. I can see why. What a workout! Can't wait to put the gloves back on. 

Monday, September 10, 2012

Weekend wrap up and FMM

Hope you had a great weekend! 

The family went out for another hike on Saturday. The kids are loving being out in the woods looking for treasures (geocaches), I'm loving that we are all together doing something active!  Now, if I can get the big kid to ride a bike, we could add something else to the activity list.  Anyway, back to the hike; we were short on time so had to cut things a little shorter than we would have liked. Part of the time issue what the insistence on the children's part of stopping for an extended snack period. No matter though, the actual hiking time was just about an hour and I burned 785 calories!  (I paused my counter during said snack period). 

This hike was a little more difficult than last week's. Honestly, I didn't think I was going to be able to do it. We got to this fork in the path where one went uphill through these rocks and such while the other was on more stable ground. When I saw the path that went upward, I paniked. I didn't think there was any way I would be able to do it. I thought back to a time when I was in high school and one of my Aunt's took me and a friend camping. During one of the days she thought it would be fun to "climb a mountain". Now, the mountain was small, but the climb was rough.  I only made it half way up before turning around in embarrassment to walk back down. Alone. You would have thought that would have been my tipping point, and maybe it was for a brief period of time...who knows. Anyhow, I was thinking about that day (although this climb wasn't as difficult as "that day") and thought about how I would feel if I couldn't do it. Then I thought "what if I can do it?". So, I bucked up and did it!  I was so proud of myself for not letting my inner voice take over. I told her to shush and take a seat because I want to give-it-a-go. 

It's moments like that that make me realize that I am a lot stronger than I think I am. I can do way more than I think I can. Just need to keep in this frame of mind more often than not and before I know it, I will go back and conquer that mountain I didn't get to do back in high school! 

And now it's time to play along with Kenlie's FMM...

Have You Ever?

1. Jumped out of an airplane? Never. Ever. Ever. Just sayin'
2. Lived alone?  No. 
3. Met a celebrity? Yes. A few actually. I behaved myself, but if I ever meet Jon Bon Jovi - forget about it!  You'll see my name in some headline. I'd be pathetic!  Been in love with that man since the sixth grade! (That was a LONG time ago!) 
4. Said something to someone that you immediately regret saying? Haven't we all? Hate it when that happens! 
5. Had a manicure/pedicure? Yes. Used to have them all the time pre-kids. Now I'm lucky to do it yearly. Yikes!
6.  Gotten a hickey?  Sadly, yes. Never happy about that!
7. Owned a pet that was not a dog or a cat?  Yes. Nothing exotic. Just guinea pigs and hamsters. The kids would love lizards and things like that. I'm OK with anything but snakes and mice! 
8. Been outside of your home country?  Yes. would love to travel more too. Someday. 
9. Kissed your best friend? Daily :D
10. Eaten food that fell on the floor?  Yup. My floor only though. 
11. Met someone online? Married him. 
12. Been on TV? God, I hope not! 
13. Had braces?  Nope. 
14. Gone skinny dipping?  possibly. ;-)
15. Been to the opera? Only Phantom of the Opera
16. Been caught making out by a policeman?  No. I don't like public displays of affection...even in my own car. Sorry. Not judging. I just don't "do that" :)
17. Sung in public? No. And you can thank me for it.
18. Handed out candy on Halloween? Yes. But I would rather go out with my kids. 
19. Been snowed in? Yes. But never for long. 
20. Fallen in front of other people? Yes. I slipped on some ice outside of work once. I was mortified. And why is it always "funny" when someone else falls but horrifying when you do?
21. Cheated on a test? Never. I am honest to a fault. 
22. Regretted saying “I love you” to someone? I don't think so. 
23. Finished a meal in a restaurant and realized that you didn’t have your wallet? Probably. But I was always with someone who did...hi Mom!  ;-) 
24. Shot a gun? No. Guns terrify me. Although, I am not against guns (not getting into politics!). 
25. Heard a song that was written for (or about) you? Ummm...did I mention Jon Bon Jovi? Yea, he's written a few for me!  HA!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Difficult Decision

The trainer sent me an email this morning to check in and see if we are still on for Friday or not.

I opened up my bank account (as I do everyday now that I'm being strict with the budget) and didn't like what I was seeing.  We've been reining things in so things should be on the way of getting better but at the same time we'll be adding expenses for the kids activities back into the budget. So, I had to make a tough decision and ultimately chose to not workout with him at this time. I know my health is priceless but adding the stress of worrying where our next meal is going to come from will just do more harm than good. So, for now I'm working on my own. Not happy about it, but it's what is best for my sanity and for the family.

In the meantime, I'm going to start looking for part time work.

And what a turn of events!  As I was writing this, I noticed a new mail's from the trainer!  He wants to work out a more comfortable deal with me. I teared up while reading the message. He spoke with the owner and they would like to do something a bit different with me; he will train with me for 30 minutes and then I will have access to the cardio machines for 30 minutes. He said to come in on Friday to check it out and the workout would be "on him". He really wants me to have my happy ending. How can I say no to that!

And I'm at the end of my official Day one.
I didn't follow yesterday's plan as much as I would have liked, but I didn't stray too far off the path either.  My calories are dead on andI managed to get most of my fruits and veggies in.
Now, just need to focus on getting more water through the system! Ack! I have such a hard time sucking back the water. Not sure why, but I do.

On to Day Two.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The Plan

Ugh! I had to reset my counter back to zero.

I know I'm dehydrated, but I also know I haven't been making the best of the best choices.
No excuses.
Back to the start I go.

As of tomorrow morning, the eating is going to be clean, and the workouts WILL happen, one way or another.

As of Wednesday (tomorrow), there will be 110 days left to Christmas.
My first big goal is to lose 40 pounds in that time frame. It's a big goal (especially for me) but if I keep the eating clean and honest and the workouts heavy, I'll get there.

How am I going to do that?
First is my eating. I will be logging everything that goes in.
I'm eating off of Bob Harper's, The Skinny Rules diet plan. It's the first diet menu that I've ever seen in which I would eat (just about) everything on the list. So, I have my meals planned out for week one and am ready to go. I'll be having the same thing for breakfast and lunch everyday over the next week. My dinners will vary a bit from what he has listed but that's mainly because he offers a lot of fish which I either don't eat (used to love it but after my last pregnancy, I can't even smell the stuff!) or I'm allergic to it.  So, I will stick to lean cuts of beef (once a week), a vegetarian meal (at least once a week) and of course chicken.

Now, I have a little "coffee club" that I meet up with once a week during the school year. That day will be my "cheat" day. I will only "cheat" as far as adding a flavored coffee to my meal. I am still working on saving money so I will stick to just one coffee and will bring some breakfast along with me for the ride.

I will allow myself one other "cheat day". That will be the day we go to the fair.  It's a yearly tradition and we could sit here all day and talk about how it should be about the experience and not the food. We all know that isn't true. Part of the experience IS the food. We've gotten smart over the last few years though. I tend to pack some healthier snacks to go along with the junk we do consume at the fair. And we all split whatever it is we get - even if it is the best-thing-ever and we want more! We only have one and split it four to six ways (depending on who is with us).

The next hurdle will be my wedding anniversary. Hubs and I can work something out for that, I'm sure. He's really good about being supportive that way (plus he should be joining me on this eating plan). And with most restaurants offering up their nutritional information, all should be good.

What about Halloween?  Eeeeek!  That's a tough one for me!  I'm a chocoholic. There. I said it.  I'll say it again; Hello. My name is Jenn and I a ma chocoholic. Well, if I deny myself chocolate all together, I will end up binging on it one way or another. I will have to plan this very carefully and will talk about that as we get closer.

Then there is Thanksgiving. But guess what? It's not my favorite holiday.  In fact, I really hate it. I hate all the prep. I hate turkey (yes, I'm serious!) and I hate the clean up afterwards. I am not a Thanksgiving lover. Yes, I love my Pumpkin Pie, but the rest you can have!  Thanksgiving is another one that we'll talk about as we get closer. I'm not sure what are plans are for it just yet. Will we be traveling to Disney (wishful thinking) or will we be home?  Who knows at this point. I'll figure that out as the time approaches.

For right now though, I am going to worry about this moment, tomorrow, the next day and the week ahead. That's about all the planning and handling I can handle at once.

So, for tomorrow:

Breakfast: oatmeal
                  Greek yogurt with fruit

Snack: Apple with PB or 1 oz cheese

Lunch: Bob's Cobb (can't wait! I love a good salad)

Snack: Cukes

Dinner: taco salad

workout: 20-30 mins on the treadmill - depending on what my feet will allow and/or a Bob Harper video.

Monday, September 3, 2012

A Hiking We Will Go

Hope you are enjoying your labor day weekend!

Mine hasn't been quite what I planned, but that's OK. Sometimes you have to "expect the unexpected" and just roll with it.

We have yet to take out the bikes. I am really thinking Santa should bring my little guy his big boy bike. We have a good-enough one that he can learn on for now. As far as the bikes for Hubs and I, well, he needs to get them out of the shed. He would have worked on that today but we were off to a slow start- he slept in until nearly 11, he's been working his tail off for months so I let him sleep...he deserved it and clearly needed it! Anyway, we opted to go hiking instead of working on the bikes.

We headed out to a nice easy trail right here in town. We found two geocaches which the kids really enjoyed finding. We also found another little "friend". One that I wasn't too happy to see but knew they were there because I saw all the holes in the ground....

Thank goodness it was just a little guy, otherwise you all would have heard me screaming!  Ugh! I hate snakes!

Back to the trail....the sad part of the whole thing is that I've lived in this town for nearly 30 years and I had no idea this trail was there! Even sadder is that I passed by it a thousand times when I was a kid! How pathetic am I? (don't answer that- haha)

The hike, or nature walk as I was calling it, took us nearly ninety minutes to complete. We stopped for about a ten minute snack break and of course had some pauses in there while we were looking for the caches. I did work up a sweat (especially when we saw snakes) and will be sure to wear my heart rate monitor next time!

It was a great family day full of some fun memories!  Can't wait to go on another adventure but first, I will need to invest in some hiking shoes. Walking on unstable ground in my sneakers with my plantar faciitis just doesn't bode well for the feet. I did OK on this terrain but anything a little more difficult and I would be in a world of hurt for sure!

And I will leave you with that. What did you do for fun this weekend?

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Activate the activity!

We're working on getting active over here in our house! 
The original plan for today was to go on a family hike but my older son was invited to go on an outing with a friend. Hubs and I opted to take the little one out for a bit of mini-golf and some last-minute back-to-school shopping. Yes! My kids aren't in yet!  Our schools start after Labor Day.  Normally I'm really happy with that so we don't have to worry about not going away near the three-day weekend but this year we weren't able to go anywhere due to Hubs being tied up at work. This year I was wishing they were in school early!  Oh well. 

Anyway, we didn't get to be quite as active as I hoped, but at least we didn't totally mope around the house.  While we were out, we popped into LLBean. My little guy spotted a bike and hopped on.  He so desperately wants to ride but with my weight and my older son not wanting to ride for fear of hurting himself, we've lagged in teaching the little one. Anyway, he asked if he could get the bike and we told him we'd talk about it.  Tonight, while he was laying in his bed trying to fall asleep, we hear "Mommy, Daddy. Talk about getting me my bike". How cute is that! 

So, now we are on this bike talk. Hubs and I both have bikes which are ten plus years old but are in good condition because we hardly ever rode them!  How sad is that?  (don't really answer that, I know it's pretty pathetic!) Hubs is going to dig our bikes out from the depths of our shed...our shed is pretty big and they are buried in there somewhere...he's going to take a look to see if we'll be able to ride them.  Now, I hear when you are of a certain weight (mine), you should have a stronger bike. What I'm hoping is is that we can get a few months of leisurely riding in before the winter and then in the spring I'll (hopefully) be a lot lighter and it will be a non-issue. 

The fun part in all of this will be convincing my older son to ride!  He's so afraid of getting hurt but at the same time I think if he sees the three of us riding, he may realize he's missing out on some serious fun. That's what we're hoping anyway. Wish us luck on all accounts!

The other active item we're talking about doing this weekend is hiking.  We have a number of small trails (surprisingly enough) here in town. We've done a few of them in the past while geocaching. We're thinking we should get back into that sort of activity going into the fall. We all love the outdoors and I really want to be a good example for the kids on living an active lifestyle. 

Our last weekend choice for entertainment is a trip to the beach.  That's not exactly active, but it's fun and we (sadly) haven't been at all this summer!  I went for a small food shop tonight to prepare for some beach time if that's what we decide to do. 

No matter what, something active is on our agenda!