Monday, June 30, 2014

End Week 1

Down 4.1
Not a shabby start at all!

I'm already feeling better. I'm certainly no where as bloated as I was a week ago.  I feel my energy slowly creeping back up.  Those jean capri's that were cutting off my circulation last week are almost wearable again.  I suppose I could wear them now if I really wanted to, I wouldn't turn blue like I did last week. For now though, I put them aside and will recheck next week.

Short post for today.  Been busy and am feeling a bit burned out. Need a relaxing night.

Monday woes

Today was a "rough" day as in things didn't go as planned.  I was supposed to get going this morning with some quick household stuff and then the plan was to head to the food store for a few items that we were running low on before my son's playdate was to arrive.  As I was getting ready, my neighbor phoned to ask me if I could watch her son for a little while. "No problem!" So, instead of hitting the food store, I popped over to the drive thru for a coffee and a few munchkins for the kids.  (Honestly, I only had a few munchkins and I tracked them). All wouldn't be lost, I'll just hit the store after the other two boys left.  My neighbor's son left about an hour after she dropped him but the other little boy and his mom stayed for the rest of the morning and well into the afternoon.  It was nice to have the company but I wasn't able to get any of my to-do list done.

Anyway, I didn't get to eat lunch until 3:30 when they left.  I offered to make something but I didn't have anything in that they liked. That certainly threw me off.  When you go without eating for the better part of six hours, you are hungry!  Luckily though, I was able to stay within reason and only ended up slightly over my calories for the day.  I wouldn't be upset about that if I had gotten in some activity - there is always tomorrow. 

Speaking of tomorrow - it's weigh in day!  Can't wait to see where I am at! 

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Weekend Wrapup

(Sorry for the delay. The fam was on vacay and the internet was a bit wonky where we were)

Heading into the weekend can either be a blessing or a curse. During the week, I am in a routine- I only have to take care of myself and my little guy now that preschool is out for the summer.  The difficult part is I have to give up the gym for the summer.  Well, to be truthful, I probably don't have to give it up, I'm just not going to get up at 6am to go to the gym! I know, I know, you're probably rolling your eyes and yelling at your screen, but believe you me, it's better for everyone if I don't get up at that hour! Trust me!!  On top of that, we are a single income family. I do work part time during the rest of the year but that goes away during the summer which makes it that much more difficult to afford.

Anyway, I was quite nervous going into my first weekend of being on plan.  I even mentioned to Hubs about how I love having him home but hate that we tend to make poor decisions food wise during the weekend. He seemed to agree.  He is also trying to eat better so the weekend shouldn't be all-that-difficult to get through.

Saturday was busy with the kid's activities and getting things done around the house.  It was also the 'bummer' sort of day of the weekend as it rained on and off all day.  Once our activities and chores were done, we were expecting to have to sit in and watch a movie or something given the rain but as luck had it, the weather turned and we were able to get out of the house for a little while to get some much-needed movement in.

Father's Day started out a bit rocky.  Hubs got up to make a big breakfast for he and the kids.  I would have made it but I "can't" cook eggs the way he likes them and he honestly enjoys cooking so I let him have-at-it.  The poor guy got a good slice in his finger though while he was cleaning up....I'll leave you with he's fine but it wasn't a pretty site.

Luckily though, we were able to turn the day around food-wise and kept things well within calorie budget. On top of that, we had a fairly active day so all in all the first weekend is a win!

Sunday, June 22, 2014

The dreaded dress

Day three has been a bit trying.

My little guy was up half the night last night with a sore throat and an earache.  He ended up climbing in with us for some mommy snuggles.  My kids are good about staying in their own beds so I'm usually OK with them climbing in with us once in a while when they are sick.  That being said, it was a huge mistake last night.  The boy could not stay still.  He tossed and turned and turned and tossed.  On top of that, he whined in his sleep.  Needless to say, it was a long night.   Hubs took him to the doctor first thing and there is nothing wrong with his ear or his throat.  Hopefully an infection won't pop up over the weekend. 

Admittedly, I was a bit worried going into today because of how tired I was.  Making better choices is often a bit more difficult when you're overtired. I was able to keep my wits about me though and anytime I had the thought to say "screw it" I'd immediately think about how bad I've been feeling and opted something better. So far, I'm keeping the eye on the prize: for now, fitting into my clothes.

Speaking of clothes, I had to go shopping for a dress up outfit today.  I work at a dance studio and the Show (we don't call it a recital) is tomorrow.  I need to pop on stage to be introduced so I should wear something that is half decent. I absolutely hate clothes shopping again. I can't find my current size. They seem to carry plenty of the larger sizes as far as tops go but bottoms are hard to find.  I was hoping to pick up some dressier crop or capris.  I would certainly wear those again over the summer on a night out.  Unfortunately, I only found a long skirt. I feel frumpy and dumpy in dresses and skirts but I have to suck-it-up and wear it anyway.   I give credit to heavy women everywhere who can pull off skirts and dresses!

Friday, June 20, 2014

Day 2

Woke up this morning feeling refreshed and ready to go.
I had a little less bloat going on which also helped with my mood.

My pants have been so tight that I've had to unbutton them while in the house just so I don't pass out from lack of oxygen. Yeah, they are that tight.  There are a few pants and a few tops that I've had to put away in a drawer for future use. It angers me that I let things get this bad but I'm on my way to making it all better.    

Anyway, today my pants weren't quite as tight as they were yesterday.  They are tight, but I can at least breathe and I don't feel like my organs are screaming bloody murder on the inside. 

I was dead-on calorie wise and am looking forward to continuing in this fashion in day 3. 

Thursday, June 19, 2014

A Fresh Start

Starting over is difficult.  Knowing that you're redoing what you've already done in the past is frustrating and maddening.  I had a lot of ups and downs throughout the day but I'm calling it a win and done.

My original plan for today was to get my eldest off to school and then my little one and I would head off to the store to stock up on fruits, veggies, and chicken.  A wrench was thrown in though when my eldest woke up with a migraine.  We ended up at the doctor's office rather than the grocery store. Because of how horrible I felt though, I opted not to "start tomorrow". Even with a bare fridge I made due with what he had on hand and stayed within my calorie range. At the end of the day, I felt pleased with myself.

Have no fear, hubs went food shopping on his way home from work (he's a terrific guy that way).  The fridge is now stocked with all kinds of healthy foods which will make tomorrow and the days to come all that much easier.

Bring on Day two....

Wednesday, June 18, 2014


It's been 141 days since I've last sat down to write.  Well, that's not entirely true.  I've sat down a number of times to write but I felt hypocritical and ended up scrapping all of my thoughts.  Maybe I should just say that it's been 141 days since I last posted.  Although, that won't be entirely true because I am holding onto this post for a bit to make sure things are really getting started.

How about we leave it as: It's been a while.  How've ya been?

I've hit my rock-bottom.  I've thought I hit it once or twice in the last few months but I was wrong.  I finally hit it and have decided to push off the and float back toward the top.  I hate the way I feel at this very moment. Every thought I have is filled with negativity.  Every single hair on my body is full of discomfort. No matter where I look or go, I am just a big old uncomfortable mess. So, what am I going to do about it?

Before I get to that, let me put out there where I am at now.  What are my thoughts, my feelings, how terrible do I really feel?  When we last met, I was just hanging out, trying to lose the little bit I had gained over the winter holidays.  At first I was doing just fine.  I did lose a little here and there but I never really got into a groove like I had in the past.  I felt....blah. My head and my heart just weren't in it.  I thought a few times about blogging to see if that may spark some inspiration but nothing came to me to write about.  I just stared at a blank screen not knowing what to say. Let's face it, I'm not a writer and I'm certainly not a blogger.  I honestly felt (and still do, to some extent) that my writing here on a "weight loss" blog was getting old.  How can I come here and talk about my standing still or worse, gaining when I'm supposed to be losing?  I read a number of blogs where people are doing just that and it may be fine for them to do but it isn't fine for me.

My trainer says he can tell when I am blogging; I am usually more focused and do better. So, I'll give it another shot.

I lost a bit of the holiday weight and was getting back into a better gym routine when I hurt my back. It's from an old HS injury that I've mentioned once or twice in the past.  This time was worse than it's ever been.  We were away with the kids and I was full of stress from a project I was working on for my son's school...I sat in this office-like chair for hours and hours in the hotel while the kids were asleep. Because of that, I woke up in the middle of the night in pain.  We ended up having to come home a little early from our small vacation.  Anyway, I was down and out for a few days but couldn't do anything gym-wise for about six weeks.  It was all downhill from there.

Now I am here with an extra 30 pounds or so to take BACK off!  My clothes are really, really tight (the ones that still kinda fit). Walking even short distances is back to being difficult.  Getting off the couch is hard. I'm getting yeast infections back-to-back. My joints hurt. I have bone pain, which I haven't had in a few years.  All-in-all, I feel like......BLEEEP!

That is all about to change!!  I have 163 days to Disney and I WILL not feel like this for my much-anticipated trip!  We've had to cancel two years in a row so I am really amped about this trip.  It all begins now.