Friday, October 28, 2011

Week 31

I lost the pound I gained last week.

I made a decision. I am hiding the scale until Thanksgiving. I am just going to work on making better choices and hitting the gym and worrying less about what the scale has to say. I think I am mentally tied to hitting that 50 pound mark and am just moving so slow.

It all stops now....well, I have to get through tomorrow's Halloween party, then I will be all set to rock-n-roll. I'm already having a hard time. I baked cupcakes and have already had one. That on top of the muffins I made this morning, I have a stomach ache. I just cannot have this stuff in the house. I'll be chewing a lot of gum to get through today and tomorrow.

I do plan on working out this afternoon. I have to. There will be no time to tomorrow.

What are your weekend plans? How are you getting through Halloween?

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Post Check-Up

Have you ever noticed when you hear an old song on the radio, you are snapped back into a memory from that time period. Like when I hear Prince's Little Red Corvette, I think of my girl friends from high school and how we'd turn the radio up as loud as it would go to sing and dance like a bunch of mad people. Or when I hear Lonestar's Amazed I am right back in my husband's arms wearing my wedding gown dancing our first dance at our wedding.

Or how about when you buy a new package of Scotch tape and think about Christmas (that's what I always think of anyway). When you pop open a new box of Crayola Crayons and think about the days of elementary school.

I am sitting in the waiting room of Dana Farber Cancer Center. I just washed my hands and am overwhelmed by the smell of the soap. The soap smells of a serious illness. How do I know what a serious illness smells like? Does illness even have a smell? If it did, it would smell like the soap at Dana Farber. Which is just silly because when I was here nine months ago, I thought the soap smelled of babies; reminding me of the birth of my boys. It's all relative now though. I am no longer birthing babies but rather fighting to keep myself cancer free.

I started to write this entry while I was at my appointment yesterday. I'm usually in the waiting room a long time and really wanted to capture for you, and me, what I feel like and what I am really thinking while at the center. I was called into the offices rather quickly though so wasn't able to really finish my thoughts. It's OK. Next time.

That all being said, my visit went rather well. Still don't have the results back on the protein levels (that's an important one for my condition), but everything else was OK. I did ask Doc about my Raynaud's. It seems a lot worse than last year. My fingers and toes have been feeling the effects of the cold a lot earlier in the season. That had me a bit concerned. Doc decided to run a few more tests but the likelihood of my having whatever-it-is that he was thinking about is so slim. In other words, it's doubtful that the Raynaud's and the MGUS are related.

So, it seems I can go on about my business again until my next check up in three months. I'm not nervous about my protein levels as everything else was in check. I'm not letting the MGUS define me or control me. Although I will admit that it does for about 1-2 weeks prior to my check ups. Once I see I am fine though, I move on. This is me moving on.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Catching Up

Sorry I have been away from the computer. My eyes have really been bothering me. I'm starting to wear my glasses on a more regular basis. Not liking it, but I have to.

Weigh in for Friday: up 1 pound. Not at all surprised. This week may not be much better...getting to that in a second.

The weekend was OK. I have a lot on my mind. Today is check-up day. Heading into Boston very soon to have my protein levels checked. It seems that even though I say I am OK, deep down I am worried that this will be the time he says I need another bone marrow biopsy or more testing. Chances are though that everything will be fine. So, I am giving myself until the end of the day today to get over this little bump and will be back at it hard until Thanksgiving. I promise. I promise myself that I am going to work as hard as ever for the next month. No excuses. No nothing.

Until then, I need to get through today.
I will keep you posted. Like I said though, I know the chances are that everything will be OK. It's just difficult to think about the "what ifs".

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

FMM: Sterotypes (on a Tuesday)

Yesterday just got away from me. I logged on to post a number of times but kept being distracted. To add to that, my head has been achy. I *should* wear glasses while I am on the computer but I haven't been and now I have a headache that just won't stop bugging me. It's my own fault. I really need to have the glasses adjusted (they are progressive lenses), but have been too lazy to get to the mall.

I am starting to think that this week is going to be a rough weigh in. I'm feeling like I'm holding a ton of water and my face looks like it's more full. My body takes a while to react to things so I'm thinking this may be from last week's fair-going and other things from then. Going to try to push the water and hit-the-gym hard for the next few days. I won't be too upset if I don't hit the 50 pound mark this week though. I knew the poor decisions from a week ago would catch up to me at some point.

And one other thing before moving on...I used to belong to an online message board for weight loss. The board was shut-down a few years back. One of the ladies decided to open up another board. It's very new. Not many people are there to chat with, but it's still a great community. If you have a moment and would like to stop by, we'd love to have you....

And now onto Friend Makin' Monday....a day late and a dollar short....

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
FMM:  Stereotyping
Have you ever been the victim of stereotyping?  If so, will you elaborate?  What do you wish people thought of you as they notice you for the first time?
First I would like to say that there is a reason there are stereotypes. I don't get upset and offended by it because it's just a matter-of-fact. For example, I don't get upset when people tell me a Polish joke (I am Polish). I know Polish people aren't dumb, we just tend to look at things in a different way and people perceive that as being dumb. I also don't get upset when people talk about the Irish temper...I am also a bit Irish and have been known to let my Irish out a bit. It's all good. I don't go crying about it. It's a simple truth to laugh about. And that's the point, you have to laugh about it. If you can't laugh then you'll be crying  and what good is that?
That all being said, I hate "fat" stereotypes and get angry when I see the people who have created them. You know who I am talking about. The people who have given up all hope. The ones that don't shower and wear nothing but sweatpants and big 'ol sloppy shirts. You know what I am talking about right?  It breaks my heart when I see people like that. I always said to shoot me if I get to that point. 
And I was almost there. 50 pounds ago, I was almost to that point where I was about to give up all hope and say to hell with it. It was so hard to keep up with daily tasks. I was winded. I was tired. I was depressed. I hated going out in public. I didn't want to look people in the eye. Could they see my pain? Did they know that I was a human with feelings? Were they going to be mean to me or cast me dirty looks? I hated it. 
I still kinda do hate being out in public. Not as much as before though. I chuckle at things a little easier now. Like when we were at the fair last week there were these two boys (teenagers) who made a comment about my size. I honestly chuckled and thought to myself "oh, you have no idea". That is, no idea how far I've come. No idea at how strong I am. 
I have had many comments and looks tossed my way through the years. I honestly can't pinpoint any one in particular to tell you about, but I can say that yes, I have had the stereotype thing tossed my way. Most of the time though I just hold my head high and move along. It tends to shut that stuff down right in its tracks. 
Now it's your turn...

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Weekend Wrap-up

What a crazy weekend!  My husband took my eldest down to see his parents on Saturday so it was just my little guy and I for the day. We went off to run errands and had a nice little lunch together. It's so nice to have one-on-one time with the kiddos. Although, I do have a lot of one-on-one time with the little guy while the bigger one is at school during the week. You know what I mean though.

This morning I took my eldest to Church. The first time in a long time, I am sad to say. My husband and I grew up and were married in the Catholic Church. Both of the boys were baptized in the Catholic Church, but we just never really were church-going people. I don't want to get into it but it's more that we don't agree with a lot of the Catholic Church's rules and the way they handle certain situations. Anyway, last year we started attending a Methodist Church. We really liked the Church and the Pastor was wonderful. The problem though was that if you missed a week, people were questioning you as to why and making comments that should have been kept to themselves. There were a few other "issues" that also led us to decide that it wasn't a place for us.

So, here we are in the Catholic Church. Again. My son is now a year behind his classmates as far as his first communion will go. He's OK with it though because there are a few kids in the neighborhood that are in the younger group so it's not like he doesn't know anyone.

So, here we are attending (Catholic) Church for the first time in a very long time. We walk in the front door, I bless myself with the Holy Water. I turn to show my son what to do and he dips his WHOLE HAND in the water. I was HORRIFIED!  There was a man coming up the stairs who saw the whole incident. Needless to say, he was none-too-happy too. I was laughing on the inside, horrified and mortified on the outside. I had to have a chat with him when we sat down. He took it in strides. Me? Not. So. Much.

So, there is my funny story of the weekend. And for some exciting news....
I wore a pair of jeans yesterday that were falling off...literally. They were really uncomfortable being so big. I would have changed had I had some clean clothes. This morning while I was getting dressed, I decided to dig out some new jeans that I bought on clearance over the summer. I didn't think they would fit, but thought it would be a good idea to have them out as incentive to keep movin'-it. I put them on. Got them to my hips and thought "there is no way"...I then got them over my hips and thought "OK, that's great, I will never be able to button them though". I was wrong again. They did button!  They were a bit on the tight side, but they buttoned. I wore them anyway. My top was long enough to cover the tightness in the belly. I enjoyed being in yet another smaller size and being that they were a bit tight it reminded me not to overeat.

And the Patriots made off with a win. Rough game, but a win.
I would say it was a pretty good weekend.
I'm just about ready to step into a terrific week!  I get to meet an online friend in person on Wednesday. So excited about that! Then on Thursday I will celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary. And Friday had best be 50 lost on that scale! (If not, it's OK - we are going to The Cheesecake Factory on Wednesday and then out to an Italian restaurant on Thursday).

Friday, October 14, 2011

Week 29

Down 2 pounds this week.
Total: 48.3
Hopefully next week I'll hit the 50 pounds lost mark!

Chest: -2.5 inches since Day One
Bust: -2.5
Upper arm: -1
Waist: -5
Hips: -2
Upper Thigh: -3 (I can really see the difference here and in my waist!)

The biggest number is in the waist. 5 inches! Wow! I have "birthing hips" as my hubs likes to happy to see that area shrink, shrink, shrink. :)


This morning I ran to the gym after putting my eldest on the bus. I did a quick 10 minute cardio on the bike then onto a full body strength training workout. I really wish I had my monitor on today! I kicked my butt. Would love to know what my burn was because I felt like I worked harder and ever.

After the gym I headed on over to my last physical therapy appointment for the plantar fasciitis. I'm going to miss was a great way to burn a few extra calories during the week. But, I am happy my feet are a bit better. I will still have to do all my stretches and icing. Will probably have bad days, but at least they are a bit better than they ever were. Baby steps.    We were joking about my shoulder though. She was asking when I have my follow up with that issue and wonders if she'll see me soon after that. (hope not!)

And onto the weekend. No big plans. Have a lot of running around to do and will work on getting some activity in. After today's workout, I feel like I could take on the world right now. I love this feeling!  Just have to remember that tomorrow when I don't want to do anything.

Hope you have a great weekend!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Kickin' It

What a terrific week at the gym!  I've been kicking some serious butt (mine)! I've managed to get into the gym everyday this week and have an appointment  in the nursery for the little guy for tomorrow morning.

I was hurtin' today though. I was doing my routine on the bike to start and felt like I was sucking wind and my legs were going to fall off. I had to keep the resistance down while pedaling for my life just to get my heart rate up to a reasonable level.  I decided to take it a little easy on myself tonight. My body is clearly telling me that I need a break.

Remind me to take measurements tomorrow! I am feeling smaller. Gotta love that!  I was looking at myself in the full length mirror while doing some exercises tonight and thought "Wow!  You've really lost a lot of weight". What a great feeling!

Keeping it short tonight. I am wiped out. Can't wait to see what the scale has to say for me tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


I feel like I've been doing nothing but running around all over town today. I started my day with a visit to my therapist (to borrow from a friend's phrase, my "paid friend"). I had postpartum depression with my first son and have just kept seeing her. Anyway, we chatted a lot today about the next chapter for me. I was telling her how I feel like I am in some sort of a rut. Sure, the weight is coming off, but I am just going through the motions. I know I could be doing so much better if I tightened things up with my eating. I guess I am feeling really bored with the gym so I take more liberties with the food. I have to get my head completely back into the game so my weight loss can come a little smoother in the weeks/months to come.

We chatted about how maybe it's [almost] time to close the book on the first 50 pounds and start fresh. I've actually been thinking about that a lot as of late. 50 pounds is a lot of weigh. For me though, it's just about a quarter of what I have to lose. A large mountain to climb. It's almost discouraging to think that I am only a quarter of the way to where I need to be. So, when I hit the 50 pound mark I am closing that chapter and am starting fresh. Onto the next 50. I will keep a total on the side of my blog, but from 51 on it's going to read like I am starting from the beginning.

My next appointment today was with the orthopedist. Turns out I have tendonitis or bursitis. Either way he said I can go back to the gym to continue with my upper body workouts. He said to keep the weights light. Can't do chest flies or anything using the cables. He did say I could do the bench press (which is where the pain first came on), but to not extend my arm all the way and to keep the weights light. He also offered a cortisone shot which I respectfully declined. I think I've had enough of those!  He did say that I will be really sore after starting up again but it should settle down. I go back in six weeks for a follow up.

I did do an upper body workout today. The bench press is right out for me. My arm was in all kinds of discomfort. I used very light weights with everything else I did (about 50% less of what I was used to). I am feeling pretty good as of now. Hopefully this is just what I needed to get my head back in the game 100%.

And onto my final appointment; Physical Therapy.  I am happy to report that I only have one last session. I'm at about a 90% improvement rate from when I first started. I just have to keep up with my stretches and icing and should be pretty good going forward. Yes, my feet are still going to give me some pain. Yes, I am going to be frustrated some days. So long as most days are pain free, all will be right with the world.

Monday, October 10, 2011

FMM: Taboo Topics

I took the kids to the zoo today. No school being that it is Columbus Day and all. The place was packed!  This zoo is situated in the woods and is full of hills. My legs got a great workout pushing the stroller up those hills!  The only bad thing about the day was that I neglected to pack us a lunch. Ended up ordering a grilled cheese which did nothing for me. I was still starving. I did the best I could to keep the calories at a minimum and had a conversation with myself about how not to forget to pack a lunch next time! 
I will hit the gym tonight. That will also help. 
Now, onto FMM....

Now it’s time for FMM!  If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
FMM: 8 Taboo Topics
  1. How often do you read/watch the news?  The news depresses me. And often angers me. So, I will read the headlines a few times a day and choose topics I'd like to know more about. 
  2. What is your opinion on beauty pageants? I hate them. Especially ones for children. I really hate that society puts so much weight into what's on the outside before looking to the inside which is where the beauty really lies. 
  3. Would you date/marry someone who has different religious views than you? Ummm...I don't think my husband would like that too much. :D Seriously though, yes. If my husband was of a different religion I would have been OK with it. I love speaking with people from other religions. I'm sort of intrigued by all the different beliefs people have. 
  4. Do you follow politics? Yes. A little. I have very strong opinions though so I stay away from this topic with friends. It's funny how the subject of politics can tear a friendship apart.
  5. How often do you talk about sex in your daily life and/or on your blog? I talk about sex fairly regularly. I probably wouldn't discuss it on the blog though. 
  6. Does it make you uncomfortable when someone asks you about your salary/income? Does it ever happen?  What bothers me the most is when people say "Oh, so do you work" or "you don't work then?" when they hear that I am a [stay-at-home] mom. Yes I work! I work very hard! I just don't get a paycheck for the work that I do. And if I did get a paycheck, I would probably make more than you anyway because of all the "jobs" I have. A mother's work is never done. I wouldn't change it for the world. Just really get my spine up with those kinds of comments. 
  7. Do you tag friends and family in pictures that you post on FB, or do you seek permission first?  If it's someone I am not good friend's with, I will ask. Otherwise I just tag away. 
  8. Can you be friends with people who have opposing views on ‘taboo’ topics?  Yes. So long as they are open to my ideas too. I really hate it when people shove their ideals down my throat without having any consideration for what mine might be. I think the world is a better place because we are all different. We just need to respect that and each other. 
Now it's your turn. Don't forget to link back here and to Kenlie's blog at

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Weekend Update

I love going to the fair. The fair signifies [to me] that it is indeed, fall. It is the one thing I will get up [willingly] before 7AM for. The particular fair I am referring to is a 2 1/2 to 3 hour drive for us. Sure, there are closer fairs but this is one the family has been going to for years and years. Can't break tradition now.

The fair is all about spending time with the family. Enjoying good food, fun, and traditions. We always leave for the fair by 6AM. The first thing we do when we arrive is set up our chairs at our gathering spot. Then we head over to Tom's Donuts for our traditional morning "snack" where we discuss our plan-of-attack for the rest of the day. Tom's brings long, long lines. Yesterday was no different. I waited in line for twenty minutes. Yes, you read that right, 20 minutes! Trust me, they are worth the wait! And it's a good thing this is a once-a-year sort of thing!  The calories must be off the charts. Worth it though.

Tom's was the worst fair food for me yesterday. Traditionally the french fries with vinegar, sausage, indian pudding and apple crisp would all follow. I had a few of my Dad's fries and a bite of my husband's fried Snickers (gross!). Other than that, I didn't do too badly. I'm sure I was way over my calories on the day, but that's OK. I knew that going in. My goal for the week is to maintain or at least keep a possible gain to a minimum.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Week 28 Weigh In

Down 2.5
Total: 46.3

Inching closer and closer to hitting the 50 pound mark! You'll hear me jumping and screaming for joy that day! Until then, I'll just keep pluggin' away.

Alright, that's it for today. I had a grand-plan of stuff to talk about for today but the day got away from me.
We're headed to the fair tomorrow. I will give an update and talk about something (anything) on Sunday. :D

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Gearing up for winter

I can't believe that word just crossed through my mouth (or fingertips)! I detest winter! Seriously, I do. I don't like being cold. I hate having to go outside when it is bitter out with winds that take your breath away (literally). And forget about snow. I think snow should only be allowed during the week of Christmas just to fit the season.

The only positive thing in winter is hot cocoa. Other than that, you can have it. I would move someplace sunny and warm for most of the year but I would miss the change of seasons and I would miss the fam. So, until the fam wants to move from January through March, I am stuck here to endure the long, cold winter months.

Why am I bringing all this up before Halloween? Because I am freezing. It's not quite time to turn on the heat, so layering it is. My finger tips and toes are screaming right now! I have a glove on my left hand while my right is free to poke the keyboard on my iPhone. (times like these I wish I had an iPad). Anyway, here we are not even at the halfway point through October and my Raynaud's is acting up. So much worse than last year! Much worse. I am debating picking up some heated gloves so I don't overdose on hot tea.

And speaking of Halloween, do you dress up? We have been invited to an adult party. I want hubs to dress up as a woman. I think it would be funny because he is a big guy with a hairy chest. Not feminine at all. He's not falling for it. I am at a loss on what to be. Any thoughts?

I honestly thought things would be better with all my added exercise. Raynaud's is related to a circulation problem -amount other things. My circulation must be better with all this exercise. I guess it really doesn't matter. And my Raynaud's is related to my diagnosis. It's how my MGUS was found in the first place. I guess I just had wishful thinking. I see many heating pads in my immediate future.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Things are settling down a bit. Thank goodness!  All this running around is wearing me out.

Hubs foot is much better. He says he's been good and wears his boot at work. My tiny man is all healed from his surgery last week. And the big guy hasn't had a headache in a few days. (probably shouldn't have said that out loud).

As far as I go, I'm still in physical therapy for my feet. I'm told I'll be done in another two weeks or so. I also have an appointment with the orthopedist next week about my arm. Hopefully I'll just need to let it rest a few more weeks and will be good-as-new.

There is something bothering me a bit today. I received my copy of Creating Keepsakes magazine yesterday. For those who don't know, it's a scrap booking magazine. Anyway, there was a cute layout (page) shown to discuss some "tips and tricks". Anyway, the page is of a baby and there are a number of words to describe the baby. One of the words is "fatso".  Now, I realize babies can have that cute baby "chub" and they can be rolly-polly. I get all that. I just hate seeing that word: Fatso. It's the first word on this page. It's in this magazine for the world to see. Forever. Granted, it is a baby and he/she may never be "fat". But that word just bothers me. I suppose I am just hyper-sensitive because I've always been overweight. I've always been the "fatso". Was called that a number of times as a kid. I hated it. Clearly, I still do.

And while we're on the subject of children, I tend to get my spine up when people tell me my kids are so big. That was also a word to describe me as a kid. It was a nice way to call me "fat". I have to remind myself that people aren't calling my kids fat. They best not be. My kids aren't fat. They are "big" for their ages in that they are tall and built like rocks. Fat? No way. I work very hard at teaching them proper nutrition. I certainly do not want them to go through life having to fight the weight battle. There are enough battles to fight without having to fight this one too.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Weekend Update

What another crappy weekend! Weather wise, that is.   Fall is my absolute favorite time of year. Not this year. This weather is getting depressing!  The kicker is that this past week was beautiful. Could it continue into the weekend? No. What's up with that? We have a million things we want to fit in this month but won't be able to get to them all if this rainy, dreary weather continues. Blech.

There. That's the end of my whine for the day. Sorry. Just getting sick of this.

So, I mentioned that I am just 6.8 pounds away from hitting 50 pounds lost!  Yikes! I want to hit that milestone more than anything right now. It's well within my reach. I just need to control what goes in seeing as I have little control on what I can burn. I am feeling like I'm falling apart with all these injuries and such. The bike is getting boring. I mean, a total yawn! I'm getting frustrated with my feet, yet am about to be released from physical therapy. In reality they are way better than they ever have been. Just wish there was more we could do so I didn't have to suffer on the bike.

Last night I did a bunch of leg stuff outside while watching the boys play. It was nice to have a change of scenery. And I must have done something right as my legs were hurting today. Again though, it's tough doing stuff outside on unstable ground with my stupid feet. They get mad at me. I get mad at them. We're always fighting. :D

I'm off to see an orthopedist next week for my arm. I was telling my physical therapist about how I've let it rest for the last three weeks and am getting worse rather than better. She said to get it checked out so that's what I am doing. I'll probably wind right back with her for my arm when my feet are done. Too funny.

The good news is that I am finding out real quick how little I really need to eat now. I've been getting full after I eat just a bit. It's the best feeling!  I've never really had that full-feeling until I've really stuffed my face! Like today, we went out for lunch because I was craving a skillet queso. I didn't have nearly as much as I would have in the past. I also ordered a bowl of soup. Should have ordered the cup - I only ate (maybe) half the bowl. What a wonderful feeling and accomplishment to feel the queues my body is sending me that I'm nearing fullness.

Today we just walked around the mall. Tomorrow we'll be off to do a corn maze (providing the rain holds). If not, I will hit-the-gym or I'll dig out an old exercise DVD and see what I can do.

What are your plans looking like?