Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Turn-it-around Tuesday

Back at it today. Have to admit, I continued to take the weekend off after Friday's mishap. It's all good though. I think I needed it. I needed to be reminded of how lousy I feel when I am not on my game. Needed to feel how difficult it is to be in the gym when I'm not feeling at my best. It's all part of the process and without having little bumps in the road, how else am I to grow?

My goal for this week is to stay the same or at least minimize any gain I may end up having.

I'm having trouble letting go of the last 2 weeks on the scale. I realize I shouldn't be dwelling on the past. I know it's not always going to go smoothly. I know there are going to be weeks when I work my tail off and see very little on the scale; I also know there are times when I do next to nothing and see a big number. I realize there is no logical explanation for any of it. I try so hard not to live and die by the scale. Honestly, I do. It's just sometimes easier said than done.

Some have suggested weighing in on a month to month basis. I have a hard time with checking in only weekly as it is. I feel the scale helps to keep me honest but if things continue in this fashion for much longer, I may have to check in only once a month.

On a good note, I am having a facial tonight. It's my first reward for hitting that 25 pound loss. When I hit 43 down I'll be heading in for some hair coloring action. 43 is a magic "break through" number. I'll have a little celebration at 50 too.

And another little "announcement"  I was just notified that I placed 192 out of 229 in the 5K I did. Not too bad considering it was my first and had a slow start. Next time I'll do even better.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Happy Memorial Day

First and foremost I'd like to thank all the brave men and women (and of course their families) who are serving as well as those who have served our country to protect our freedom.

This is a photo of my late grandfather, Walter J. Borowski. He served in the US Army as a Ranger. He really was a true American Hero. If you care to Google his name, you'll find many articles written about him and his efforts during WWII. It is because of people like my grandfather that we are able to enjoy our day-to-day freedoms. Have you thanked a Vet today? 

Now onto our regularly scheduled FMM...

Today's FMM f All The Weigh is really going to make me and you think about things. So get ready to have a little fun! 

FMM: ABC's of Me

Here's how it works...you'll choose topics about yourself, your likes, dislikes, etc.  according to each letter in the alphabet, and share a little with us. Oh shhh...you know you love it. ;)

Apples. I love them and hate them all at the same time!  I have to have them at room temperature because cold ones hurt my teeth (strange, I know). I hate them because they will sometimes give me heartburn and a tummy-ache. 

Bon Jovi - been listening to them since I was in the 6th grade!  Never heard a song from them I didn't like.

Children. I have 2 of them. They are the light of my life. 

Dusting. I hate to do it. Always makes me sneeze.

Exercise - something I have always had a love/hate relationship with. I'm learning that I love it a lot more than hating it these days though!  :)

Football!  Huge Patriots fan right here. Everyone knows not to call me on Sunday's during football season. I don't answer the phone!  

Garlic goes into practically everything I make.

Health. You never really realize how important your health is until you are staring at something that is lurking to take it away. 

Icing. I recently took classes for cake decorating. It's fast becoming one of my favorite hobbies. Although eating the icing probably isn't good for my calorie budget.

Jenn with 2 n's. I know it drives people crazy with "us Jenn's" do that. I started doing that when I was at weight watchers summer camp the year before I started high school. One of the girls at the camp would write my name that way. I liked it because it differentiated me from the 5 other Jen's that were in my class. My Mom still hasn't caught on that I'm using 2 n's. 

Kids. I love them. See the letter C

Laughter - there is no better medicine. 

Mornings. HATE 'em. 

Night owl

Oprah. I'm probably one of the only few on the planet who isn't a huge fan. I like her enough. Just never really watched her show. 

Peas - still don't eat them. 

Queen of eye rolling. (just as my mom!)

Relaxation - never enough time for that, if you as me. 

Saturday is my favorite day of the week. 

Travel. I love travel. Never enough time or money though. 

Umbrella. I always forget it in the car or in the garage. 

Vests - other than bullet proof ones, I don't understand the reason to wear one. 

Water. I never seem to drink enough. 

X-ray -I've had far too many of them this year. I'm starting to glow green. 

Young - I do look young for my age. I always thank my Polish ancestry for that and hope to keep it when the weight is gone. 

Zoo - Would love to take the kids to The Bronx Zoo this year. 

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Angel vs Devil

Today (Friday - saving post for Saturday) I am having a rough time with food. It's the first time in a really long time I want to eat- just to eat. It's like the whole angel vs. the devil thing going on over here. I have the angel saying "Don't do it!  you don't want it, you don't need it! You'll be fine once you get back in that gym!"  Then there is the devil saying "to heck with it!  You deserve a day off.

There's that (sometimes) dangerous word - deserve. It's a word so perfect for when things are going right or to get you moving off the couch. I deserve to be healthier. I deserve to have an hour to myself to get healthy. I deserve spending a little more for healthier food options. The list goes on and on...

Now the devilish version... You've worked so hard, you deserve to have some (insert poor food-choice option here). Which is all well and good if and only if it stops right there. Today?  Not so much.

My neighborhood friends (moms from the bus stop -we call ourselves the BSB's - bus stop bitches {or beauties if you so prefer}) get together every Friday for coffee. It's our little way of unwinding and having a bit of adult time before the start of the weekend. We of course will call an "emergency BSB meeting" if needed. Anyway, I am usually really good during our coffee hour. I will either just have my coffee or will bring something healthy to go with my coffee. Today I decided I would partake in a little indulgence and have some coffee cake. I had 2 tiny slices (OK, maybe 3 because the little man didn't want his, but I gave him a sliver of a sliver)...so 1 "normal" slice I would say. Not too bad really.

The trouble is things didn't stop there. If they had, I would have been just fine. And because I lost it today, I feel like poo (to say the least). My blood sugar is all out of whack...I'm having major issues with hypoglycemia because of the poor choices today. My stomach is all in knots, I just want to go to bed and start over tomorrow.

The rest of the week is going to be about damage control. I think I "needed" today to remind me how good it really does feel to eat well. I don't want to feel this gross ever again. I know it will happen again, but to minimize damage in the future is going to be key.

I don't know if I can be anymore honest. But there it is. Moving on now...

This morning I hit the gym. Hit-it-hard. I felt so weak from not being in there for a week, but I made it through a great workout. When I was done, I looked like I had been swimming!  Gross, I know. I hear it's really good to sweat though. It means everything is working in order and I'm becoming more athletic. Me? Athletic? Not so sure about that; I suppose in some small way I am well on my way to being athletic.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Week 10 weigh in

Down 1 this week
Total 25

A little better than the zero I had last week.
Not surprising it's only a pound. I haven't been in the gym since last Thursday.
The only exercise I've had this week is the 5K, a hop on the bike and a quick (short) walk.

I'm starting to feel like a slug for not being in the gym all week. It's just been one of them scheduling things  with not having a sitter, among other things. Believe you me, I am not trying to make excuses!  This has been a very difficult week - I wish I could elaborate more...  Just know that I will be back in the gym no-excuses real soon!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Just hangin'

I'm still here.
My feet have recovered from Sunday's 5K.
My shins are well on their way to recovery too (have a bit of the shin splint thing acting up).

This is a rough week gym wise. My husband has to be into work earlier than usual so I'm not able to get my workouts in as I'd like. I took Monday off just to make sure my feet got the full recovery they needed. Plus the weather was lousy so it made it a lot easier not to hit-the-gym.

I was able to get into the gym for a bike ride yesterday. Really helped to pick my spirits back up. Well, that and the fact that the sun was actually shining for once!  Having the sun in my life certainly helps to keep the motivation up.

My mother graciously offered to head into work a little late this morning so I could hit-the-gym. Unfortunately it was closed. I took a little time to go for a walk. My neighbor commented to me this morning that she saw me hustling along at a good pace. Great compliment coming from her - she's a super-sonic sort of walker. Someday I will be too.

No matter, the sun is shining!  It's the best medicine for the soul.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

5K! Done.

Today was the Weight Watchers Walk-!t 5K challenge.

My time: 01:01:47
(although, I did start my watch a little before the actual starting line and stopped it a bit after the finish line. Still, not too shabby)

This was truly a walking 5K. There were a few runners (of course) but the majority of the crowd walked. The route followed the local bike-path which was converted from an old railway. I've never walked on the bike-path but will soon get myself and the kids on there again. So peaceful.

Anyway, I walked with a three of my friends. I was supposed to anyway. Yes, we all showed up. I decided though that I really needed to break free from the crowds in order to get my heart rate up. Putting all these people onto the bike path made for a slow start. Once I started walking though, I was able to weave in and out of the masses to get a good pace going for myself. I did feel bad for not walking with my friends though. I think they understood that at this point I need to take care of myself and do what I needed to do to get my calories burning (all 1013 of them).

The first mile was a little rough. It was a bit chilly this morning, although I did welcome the overcast and the chill...I don't do well with exercise in the heat! There were also a lot of allergens in the air. I carried my eye drops, my inhaler and was happy I popped some Claritin before hopping on the trail!  (note: I did not need my inhaler. I typically don't and usually wouldn't carry it. Thought I should today with the allergens floating around). First mile time was approximately 21 minutes.

Mile two went a little quicker at just under 20 minutes. It felt like forever though. The route had a "turn around" point somewhere ahead. The runners and faster-walkers were already making the return while cheering "you're almost there!".  Once the turn round happened, I knew the second mile marker wasn't too far away. Once I saw it, I picked up my pace a bit so I would break my first mile time of 21 minutes. And I did it.  *I have a little story to tell about what happened after the turnaround....stay tuned... 

I kept the pace for mile three. My upper thighs were starting to hurt a bit (was a good hurt - just to let me know I was working them), but I wasn't about to give up. I was so pleased with my pace and how far I've come already. Wasn't about to slow it down at that point. Nope. I kept my pace, found some people to chat with and brought it all the way back. I was so pleased with myself for not only completing the 5K, but for not being last. (Although being last would have been OK - just as long as I had finished.)

So, back to the turn-around...Now I am on the way back and at some point see my girl friends. I cheered them on, told them the turn around is just up ahead and I'd see them at the finish line. One wise cracked that I should warm the car up when I got back. Anyway, I cheer them on then I hear a man behind me say "now, who would-a thought THAT would have happened". I took the comment to mean my being in front of my group. Should have been the other way around, right? Maybe. And honestly, probably. I've walked the neighborhood with the girls before - have had a rough-go of keeping up with them. They made a decision early on that it was going to be an easy walk for them- you know, relaxing time without the kids for the morning. I, on the other hand, wanted to really bring. it. on. It was my decision to do so. Wasn't about to let one man's comment tear my down for the day.   I just smiled and picked up the pace. Whatever dude.

My feet aren't doing so well. I am paying the piper, as they say. The plantar faciitious is bad right now. I had to use a tall laundry basket as a walker just to make it down the hallway. It's all good though. I'll call tomorrow morning to make the physical therapy appointment I should have made 2 weeks ago. Sigh.

What a great walk. I'll do more. Next time I'll beat my time and may even take a stab at a light jog.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Week 9 Weigh In

I've been waiting for this to happen...
Zero this week.

This is why I get frustrated. I'll work so hard to have a zero or even sometimes a gain. I'm trying so hard not to be frustrated right now. It's just one weigh in. The rest have been around 3 pounds a piece. The thing I am a tad irritated with is that I had a great loss the week after having bronchitis (wasn't able to hit the gym that week) and was OK after the last TOM. This week I am coming off a week with TOM. I've also started "the pill".  Although they say it's an old-wives tale that it causes weight gain, I can't help but wonder if it played a role in my zero.

No matter though. I am brushing myself off and plan on working extra hard this coming week.

Speaking of this coming week, I have my 5K on Sunday. I've been unable to train with all the rain (sorry, didn't mean to be a poet ;-)). Hopefully my feet will cooperate and not cause me too much trouble. Keep your fingers crossed it won't rain Sunday morning!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The Final Four

Did you catch Biggest Loser last night?  I am so in love with this season. I honestly think this has been the best group of people they have ever had on the show!  Sure, there were a few people I wanted to "smack" at the beginning - the ones that wanted to go home. Those are the people I get frustrated with. There are hundreds of thousands of people (me for one) vying for a spot on that ranch and here they are whining they want to go home. I say let 'em and put me in their spot!

I must confess though that when I was in labor with my second son, I told the nurse I wasn't "doing this and am going home". I can *almost* picture myself saying something like that during a rough workout, but certainly wouldn't mean it.  

Anyway, I am so happy for Olivia and Hannah. But choosing the third finalist is so hard. On one hand it would be nice to see Irene, who is the biggest loser on the ranch, have a chance to win the show and then there is Jay who has had a zillion and one chances to get-it-done. Decisions, decisions.

 No matter what happens, I think they are all deserving contestants and I, for one, wish everyone the best of luck!

Back to me. It's all the same-old. Tired of complaining about the weather. Especially when there are hundreds of people who are dealing with floods or the thousands in Japan who are dealing with the after math of the earthquake. So many tragedies, I should just be happy; things could be so much worse.

I decided today that I can't keep doing this.  Getting up at 6am to work out is killing me! I am feeling so bad for myself and for my little guy. I hardly have enough energy to make it through the day. I'm going to work on spreading my workouts out between the mornings and afternoons. I hate burdening my husband in the morning with having to get the kids up, dressed, fed and on the bus so I can workout in the morning. Then in the afternoon I either have to bother a neighbor or my father (who loves to do his yard work in the afternoon) to watch the kids.

Don't get me wrong. I am in no way giving up my gym time. Just have to find a schedule that will work for everyone.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Bring. It. On.

I needed a good workout to get this frustration and depression out over the weather around here. I can't remember the last time we saw the sun and the forecast shows nothing but clouds and rain. Saturday we may see a little sun through all the clouds. How depressing on the mood.

Getting my workout in early in the morning has helped with getting my mood off the ground. I really needed a good one today after missing the gym yesterday. I did get a little Biggest Loser workout in as well as 20 minutes on the treadmill, but it's just not the same as hitting it hard in the gym.

Anyway, my workout was all about lower body today. It's a workout I used to dread, but suddenly look forward to. Seeing what I am able to do vs. thinking about where I've come from is simply amazing. For my squats: he added weight to the bar. I did my "funny" and blessed myself before lifting. He laughed, told me this wasn't a church. After I completed my sets he went on to give me a lecture about not doubting. "You need to believe you can do it!" Although I know he's right. And I did believe I could do it; I was more concerned about how hard and possibly painful it was going to be....it was neither of those things.

He showed me a piece of what I'll be doing in the future (for squats). My eyes bulged out of my head thinking about the kinds of weights I'll be lifting, but I know when I get there I'll be able to do it like it's nothing. What a great feeling!

I was doing the machine where you sit and push weight with your legs. I started with a nice "light" weight for the first set but worked up to 240 pounds by the last set. There was another woman in the gym with me who used the machine after I was done...she said to me "You just pushed 240?  I cringe at my 160!!!" That felt great to hear! She was a lot (A LOT) smaller than I am. Me being the morbidly obese girl, her being the average weight girl...look at me go!

And that's why I say Bring. It. On!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Friend Makin' Mondays: What Makes You Awesome?

This is a perfect pick-me-up to yesterday's post about motivation (or the lack there of).
This weather is beating the crap out of me!  I would rather have a Jillian Michaels beating (I think).

Anyway, participating in AllTheWeigh.com

Friend Makin' Mondays: What Makes You Awesome?

If you've taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you're new, please take a moment to answer this week's question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. 

Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen.  The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it's time for this week's topic! 

What makes you awesome? List at least five qualities/hobbies/habits make you cool and unique?

This is tough. So hard to be positive about yourself, isn't it. It shouldn't be though. Seriously, if we can't love ourselves, then who can we love? 

1. I do what I love. I am very lucky to be a SAHM. It's the job I always wanted! I love my boys - they are my life. (I must say the position is underpaid, but it's well worth it!). 

2. I'm easy going and forgiving (there are exceptions to both those 'rules'). For the most part though it's all true. 

3. I'm a scrapbooker. I do my best work when I am left alone though. I do enjoy being in the company of other scrappers but am not typically that productive til I am in my scraproom with my music and thoughts. 

4. I speak my mind. Some hate it. Others love it and wish they could blurt out what they are thinking. I try to be tactful without hurting others but at the same time I get my point across. 

5. I'm a good friend. (at least I hope so! ;-)). 

Now it's your turn - what are your 5?

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Finding Motivation

Staying motivated can be so hard.
I am certainly entering a "low motivation" mode that needs to be shaken off and put into the garbage bin.
I've been trying to shake-it-off all weekend long. So hard to do when the weather is so crappy. Really puts a damper on my mood!

For me, I have to really take each day one-at-a-time. I can't look at the big picture. It's too easy to get ahead of myself if I do look too hard at the big picture and the long road ahead of myself. I have a long way to go on this journey. A. Very. Long. Way. So, I need to keep in the here-and-now. What am I feeling now? What am I doing today that I couldn't do yesterday? What did I do better today than I did yesterday and what can I do better for tomorrow?

When I look at the road far ahead of me, I start getting discouraged. I feel like it's going to take "forever". Let's face it, we live in a wold of instant gratification - get it when you want it. It's hard to be patient. Especially when I have so much weight to lose. I want to feel my clothes getting bigger. I want to be able to buy new clothes, want to fit onto rides, want to do so many things that just aren't a reality right this minute. Wouldn't it be so nice to just take a pill and have it all better?  Doesn't work that way though. So, I have to work on getting away from the negative thinking right now.

Starting with reminding myself of the many accomplishments I've had thus far.

1. Scale wise - I am rocking it!  I've never had consistent weight loss. Even with the last 2 weeks of losing less than 3 pounds each, I am still averaging a 3 pound loss per week.

2. Clothes are starting to feel loose.

3. People are noticing. Last week someone told me they could see it and they see me walking a little taller and smiling more. What a great compliment!

4. I am so much stronger today than I was on day one. I can do so much more than I could 8 weeks ago! I have way more energy and stamina.

5. Even though I feel as if my head isn't in the game, I am not letting my sour feeling take over!  I've kept my calories on target. I've still gotten into the gym. Probably should have been more active this weekend, then I may not feel like I do right now. It's all good. Tomorrow morning is a gym-day!

6. On Day one how many hours did I spend in the gym? Zero. After week one, how many hours did I spend in the gym? Three. Week eight, how many hours do I spend in the gym? SIX! Plus some other outside activities.  Huge accomplishment. Huge.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Week 8 Weigh In

Down 2.7 this week
Total loss: 24 pounds

My clothes are finally starting to feel a little lose. Some of them anyway. It's the sucky thing (one of the many) about being as heavy as I am - takes forever to feel the difference. I'm just starting to. Only good things can come now.

There are other changes I am noticing too. For instance, while I was in the gym this morning, I realized I needed to refill my ginormous water bottle. I believe it holds 32 ounces. I noted to self that when I first began working in the gym 8 weeks ago, I would only consume the one bottle-full of water. This week I've had to refill and would easily finish the second bottle of water before leaving the gym. I guess I'm really getting my sweat-on, eh?

I've also noticed how strong I really am getting. Every time I see Edmund make an adjustment on a machine, I get nervous. He always says "you'll be alright." Then I do the exercise and think "WOW! I never thought I would be able to lift/push/pull that amount of weight..." but I can!

Thinking about the "breaks" I need to take in between each exercise too. I used to have to sit between each set. Now? Nope. Even when my heart rate hits the high 80-90% range, I just need to stop and take a few breaths so my heart can relax a bit. Eight weeks ago I would hit that 90%, would have to sit and rest for a good minute to a minute and a half before getting my heart rate back to a more comfortable rate. Now it only takes a few seconds. Amazing.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

What month is it?

I'm still here. Haven't felt like talking about much of anything. This weather has put a damper on my mood. It feels more like March rather than May here in New England!  It's a little warmer out this afternoon than it was this morning, but the sun is still hiding and plans on doing so for the rest of the week with the weekend looking like a rain-out. I know, I know, it could be worst.

Yesterday was a huge success in the gym! I worked with Edmund who will mainly be doing lower body workouts with me while I do upper on my own. He's really worried about me blowing a knee. That's all I'd need. So, he wants to make sure he has a careful eye on me while I'm working the legs.

Back to yesterday - he put me on a machine to work the thighs. "Let's see if you can do this," he said. Sure enough, it wasn't a problem!  When I was done with my 4 sets on the machine he giggled and said "Oh, it's on now! The fact you can do these exercises means we're going to see everything start to melt off!"

Doesn't that just sound divine? I think so.  He went on to explain that when you're working your larger muscle groups in this particular way (a$$ kicking!), it gets your metabolism up: turns on the old fat burner and the fun begins!  Time will tell. I'm liking the sound of it though.

As far as nutrition - my calories have been right on this week!  I could tighten things up as far as adding more veggies (couldn't we all?), but all-in-all I am pleased with myself for staying in my calorie range a bit more this week than in the past.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Bon Jovi and Sleep

HaHa!  Not what you're thinking at all...get your mind out of the gutter!  :D

First I'd like to participate in Kenz Friend Makin' Mondays

If you've taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you're new, please take a moment to answer this week's question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. By linking back here, everyone will have an opportunity to be equally heard.

Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen.  The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it's time for this week's topic!

FMM: If you could meet someone famous today, who would it be? And why? 

I've thought about this one all day and am not sure I've yet to come up with an answer. Let's go through the options...

First, for those who really know me would say "that is EASY! She's going to say Jon Bon Jovi!"  Guess what? That's not what I would say. 
I'll fully admit I've had a full-blown crush on the man since I was in the sixth grade! His voice just speaks right to my soul. But, I know if I were to be in the same room with him I would behave much like a thirteen year old girl who's just met Justin Bieber!  Seriously, it could get ugly! As much as I hate to admit it, it's true!  I got within thirty feet of him a few years ago (thanks to my SIL who helped plow through the crowd!) and I got all teary-eyed with goose bumps to follow. I couldn't believe how I was reacting. Crazy!  I am a thirty-something who was acting like a teenager. Get over yourself Jenn! He's just a man. 

The next person on my list would probably be Jillian Michaels. I say that because weight issues have been a part of my whole life. I see how she connects with contestants on the show,  I've read a few of her books, I would just love to pick her brain a little bit. 

However, now that I have a personal trainer who has been great with the guidance, I'm not sure I would "waist" that wish of meeting a celeb on Jillian. (Sorry Jill - love ya and all...but you know, Jon's waiting.)

I've already met the big important one (aside from the big guy upstairs, but I would like to wait awhile to meet him, thank you)....
So who's left?

I would love to say someone like Mother Theresa or Ghandi, but let's face it, I am not that 
deep. (and of course are we speaking of people who are dead or alive?)

Oh phooey! I was hoping I'd have an answer by the end of this writing, but I honestly can't think of anyone that I am dying to meet, I guess that leads me back to Jon. 

And onto a little business...

I absolutely hate getting up in the morning! In fact, (not sure if I mentioned this before or not) when I sent in my video application for BL season 10, I really wanted to do a little skit using the song "I Don't Like Monday's" by the Boomtown Rats but changing the words to "I don't like mornings." 

I was about to cry this morning when the alarm went off. I had zero energy and certainly didn't want to head off to the gym. I felt a little different about the situation when I was about 15 mins into the bike...I was sweating and thought "MAN!  This feels so good!" I continued on to finish my whole workout and felt terrific about myself and how I started my day and week off. 

Come 6:00 PM? I am POOPED ready for bed. Can hardly keep myself up. Seriously, I am putting toothpicks in my eyelids as we speak. And you know what will happen later when I am ready to go to bed?  I'll be wide awake. Tossing and turning. Murphy's law. 

Saturday, May 7, 2011

A walk in the park

Happy National Scrapbooking Day!

As you may have noted, one of the many things I enjoy is scrapbooking. (Thus the name of my blog). Anyway, today is National Scrapbooking Day. There are always fun things going on in the scrappers world. For instance, today I've participated in a few blog hops, some online chatter and finished up a few lingering layouts that have been haunting me for quite sometime now.

The gracious people over at Bella Blvd.  are having a give-away. If you're a scrapper, go check out the blog to see what fun they are having over there today. If you're not a scrapper, maybe you should give it a try. ;-)

Now, back to business...

Today we went over to the park for some walking and playground fun. I would love to say I played on the playground while the kids and husband walked, but it was really the other way around.

This is a view of the pond from the walking trail...

I decided one time around was just not enough so I went for another lap. When I got to the end of the pond there is a bridge that takes you back over the pond and out of the park or you can keep heading straight up the hill...
This is the hill...doesn't look too scary in the picture (OK, it's not that scary - it's just a little longer and steeper than what I am probably really ready for, but I tackled it just the same...twice even!). It would have been so much easier to take the right turn over the bridge and head back to the playground to get the kids. But I told my legs to shut-it and kept on going...
This is where my heart rate was at the top of the hill. Can't see it too clearly but it's reading at 90%. That's not such a good thing, but a few deep breaths and some baby steps got the rate back down in no time at all.
Why did I push myself to do two laps?  Well, the first lap was completed in approximatly 20 minutes. That's not enough cardio to keep me through the day so I needed to go for the second lap. To add to that, I do have the 5K coming up. I'm not so sure I'm going to be able to complete the 5K. I have hardly prepared for pounding the pavement with the bronchitis I had last week and the plantar faciitis it's just all setbacks for the prepwork.

My feet didn't bother me at all during the walk. This afternoon though, is another story. I can hardly walk. I have my tennis ball and ice at the ready to work out the knots that are now in my feet.

Hopefully I won't be hurting too much tomorrow so I'll be able to pound-the-pavement again!

Btw...I burned 548 calories on my walk today. Not too shabby.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Week 7 Weigh In

Down 2.6 total in 7 weeks 21.3

I wasn't expecting a good weigh in. It's been rough with calories this week. I'm finding it harder to keep the calories low when I am getting up at 6AM to hit the gym. Needless to say, I am very pleased with a 2.6 loss!

Speaking of calories, when I log my weight on LoseIt.com, they adjust my calorie intake. It's gone down significantly in the last 2 weeks. I have a budget of 1692 calories. Ummmm....I'm still eating somewhere near 1800. Let's see what I can do to bring it down a bit this week.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

"Walk like a champion"

...a quote from Edmund.

We were discussing a number of things during my workout yesterday. During the course of our discussions, I had mentioned something about projection. I wrote about projection back in September of last year, but I never really told of the biggest lesson I learned from my "projection issues".

I was very fond of my Grandmother. Sadly, she passed a little over a year ago. Anyway, we were very close, but I always felt like she was secretly disappointed or ashamed of me because of my weight. You see, she was tiny. And when I say tiny, I mean tiny!  She would complain about how "famished" she was and go on to eat 1/2 a grilled cheese sandwich with a "cuppa tea". No lie. Sure, she had a sweet tooth (thanks Gram for passing that gene on to me!), but she always knew when enough was enough. She hated large plates with large amounts of food. Don't even get me started on how she felt about buffets!  I'll put it to you this way: she LOVED her sweets (as I just said), but when she'd head to the buffet she would refuse to eat anything for dessert because there were too many things to chose from - ruined her appetite. MAN! I wish I had that problem!

As I was saying, I always (more towards the last few years of her life) felt like she was ashamed to be around me. It ate me up inside. It came to "blows" one day after she wouldn't let me take her to a much-needed doctors appointment. My mother said something to her about how terrible it made me feel that she wouldn't let me take care of her once-in-awhile. Well, my Gram called me right away and said "Jenn! How could you think such things? I adore you!" She went on to explain her reasons for not letting me help her...it had more to do with the fact that I had 2 small children and she didn't want their schedules to be bothered.

Gram and I had a long chat that day. And I am so happy that we did. I cherished the time I had with her. She was a wonderful woman who had all the class in the world. The point is though that I learned to be more careful about my feelings about myself. Just because I may be feeling bad about myself doesn't mean that everyone else is feeling the same way about me.   (Darn it!  Now I am all teary eyed from talking about Gram. I miss her!)

After I told Edmund my story he went on to tell me that you can't see what other people are seeing. He gave a few examples: if you're looking at the color on a wall, someone may say it's pink while another may call it salmon. It doesn't mean that one or the other is wrong, they just see it differently.  He also told me I need to walk like a champion...head held high knowing that I am a beautiful person. The outside is just a shell. It's what's on the inside that truly counts. (cliche', I know...but it's true and something I am learning to accept everyday).

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


This morning I went to my monthly meeting with the nutritionist. When I hopped on the scale, she was excited to see my number. She said "Wow! That's down a lot?!"
"Why yes Sangeeta! I've been working really hard and it's starting to payoff!"

I always enjoy meeting with her - I get a recharge and pushed back onto the correct path. It's not that I've "fallen off the wagon" at all, but more that I know I could be making better choices. After meeting with her, I feel I can go on for another month and make this one better than the last.

The thing I like about her the most is she's a realist. She knows there are going to be times when a brownie or pizza or even a hot dog are going to be what's on the menu. Her philosophy is that if there is something you are craving, have it. It's best to get the craving out of the way so it doesn't haunt you for more. At the same time though it's also important to recognize why you are craving a particular item. Is it physiological or is it emotional hunger. Two very different things.

A few years ago my husband and I did HMR .  We both lost weight and were happy with the results. Hubs lost something like 80 pounds, I lost 32 before becoming pregnant with my second son.  Anyway, while on that program we learned a lot about mindful eating. I know I learned the difference between my head hunger and real hunger. Even though I gained back the weight (hey! I was preggers and all), I gained any more than that because of the tools I learned while doing their program. I just didn't put the effort into getting back to the weight loss- that is, until now.

Anyway, I have a ton more I could say on the subject but will save it for another day. Today's gym session got me thinking about other things which I will write about this week. Lots of thoughts going on over here.

Speaking of the gym - today started out rough. I hopped on the bike as I usually do for my warm up. I do 25 minutes. My legs felt like they were going to fall off. I didn't think I was going to make it the full 25 minutes!  I honestly wanted to get off at 10 minutes and run away.  I didn't. I stuck it out, practically holding back the tears.  I was glad I made it through and went on to have a productive workout with my trainer.

So, next time you're doing something that's feeling rough, dig deep and finish...I promise you won't regret it.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Bad feet

While working out in the gym yesterday, Edmund had a huge grin. I of coarse asked him why he was looking at me like that. His response got me to thinking...he told me he was smiling because I was walking around the gym like it wasn't a bother. He continued to say that he's seeing such big changes in me.

I do feel the changes. I've said it before, I'll say it again...more to remind myself of these changes so I don't forget how far I really have come. I walk with my head held high. I have much more self-esteem than I did before (kind of strange for me because I've always thought of myself as having pretty decent self-esteem - there is always room for improvement). I am much stronger than I was on day one. I can do squats without having to sit between each one, I'm doing reverse crunches now (boy do they hurt!) just to name a few.

There are a few things I wish would hurry up and change though. My feet, for instance. I have plantar fasciitis. It can be painful and it downright sucks. Before starting the gym, I only had it in my right foot. Now it's in both feet. I have to ice most nights and stretch all day.

I can hardly wait to enjoy playing in the backyard with the kids. I am able to keep up with them a little more than I was able to on day one, however my feet hurt so much I'm forced to sit quite a bit more than I would like. I was thinking about that today while chasing my little guy on his "quad"...about what Edmund had said earlier in the day about my walking around the gym like it wasn't an issue. Wish it was the same for my backyard. If only the lawn was self leveling and was without tree roots and little divots from various animals and such. The reality though is that it will take time for my feet and the rest of me to feel more comfortable walking on unstable ground. Until then I'll just have to muddle through and enjoy every moment I can while playing with the kids.

Walking on pavement is another story. I have a 5K coming up. Zero training for it has happened. Partly due to circumstances beyond my control and partly because I've been focused more on the training that happens in the gym.

I did hit the pavement this morning. (The gym was closed - I was forced to take it to the road) I had a rough time of it too. My feet hurt, my legs hurt and I felt like I was sucking wind a little more than I should be. I did check my heart monitor- I was right where I should be. I just couldn't believe how horrible it felt. I've walked this route many times in the past and have done OK with it. It's been a while though, guess I am a little farther behind the "8-ball" than I thought.

It's all OK though. I know in good time my feet with relax themselves and will hurt less. I realize that I have work to do on the pavement but I know with a little time and effort on my part, the rest will come easily.

Happy Walking.

Monday, May 2, 2011

FMM-Are you a bookworm?

OK - I know I already posted today but am posting one more for fun. I started following this blogger just the other day...

Friend Makin' Mondays: Are You A Bookworm?

If you've taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you're new, please take a moment to answer this week's question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section of this post so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen.  The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it's time for this week's topic!

Friend Makin' Mondays: Are You A Bookworm?

1) How often do you read?  I go through spurts where I will read non-stop for a while then I hit a slump and only read online stuff. 

2) What's the last book you read and loved? Had to check the Kindle for this one. Life From Scratch by Melissa Ford (it was a free book on the Kindle). Was a decent read. 

3) What book(s) are you currently reading?  Working on Water For Elephants.

4) Share a few of your favorite authors.  Not sure I have a favorite. I've always enjoyed reading Nicholas Sparks and James Patterson - but they are starting to get old. I now look for subjects that interest me as well as deals on the Kindle. Sounds cheap, I know, but what can I say? 

5) What's next on your list of must-reads?  Unlimited by Jillian Michaels, The Mommy Diet by Alison Sweeny 

 Now it's your turn to share your answers!  Don't forget to link back here so we can all see your answers too!  Happy Monday!

Recharged Batteries

Friday was a lot of fun. I spent the day with my "scrappy" friends at the Creating Keepsakes Convention (CKC).  Thankfully, I didn't spend too much money on not-needed scrapping supplies. I went with a small budget and spent maybe half of what I brought with me.

I was also supposed to head out for a 3-day weekend with my "bitches"- the Mom's at the bus stop have formed a little group which we so eloquently call "Bus Stop Bitches." We typically get together weekly at one house for our coffee gab session. It's nice to have other adults to talk to! Anywho, we were supposed to head out for the weekend but I wasn't able to go due to personal reasons. I regret it. But must move on.

Saturday and Sunday were both uneventful. Saturday was spent running from one baseball game to another while Sunday was a little more low-key. We ended up taking the kids out to play the first round of mini-golf for the season. Turns out that it'll probably be the last too!  I couldn't believe how much it costs for the four of us (remember, I have a 2 1/2 year old) to play a round of mini-golf!  So much for the cheaper "staycation" for the summer!

Anyway, here we are on Monday morning. I've already put an hour and a half into the gym time. Burned 1200+ calories and am rearing to get going on the rest of this week. I have some calories to make up on for the weekend. I splurged yesterday and had a hot dog at the BBQ stand where we played mini-golf.  They also have the best ice cream around...opted not to have any. Big step there!

My trainer was none-to-happy with my nutrition for the weekend.  The way I look at it is this: I have 36 years of really bad habits under my belt. I've come a long way in changing my habits but each day is still a struggle.  The fact that I got away from the stand with just a hot dog (had a side of potato salad too, but I only had 2 bites!!!) is huge for me!  Normally I would have said "to heck with it!"- had the hot dog, the whole side of potato salad and then and ice cream to wash it all down. I need to stay in the positive; not beating myself up over a choice I made in a moment of weakness.   I've also learned that the more I say "no" to something that is trying to entice me to "the dark side", the more I want it....then when I do indulge, the ice cream and everything else comes with it.

This is a life-long process. It's not something that I can be 100% on 100% of the time. The fact is that I need to live. We all do. I'm keeping the process realistic. I'm going to allow myself to make a poor choice every now and again. But I know when I do make those choices, I am doing so with a clear head. I'm not going to let myself go way overboard but rather enjoy in the choices I do make so the next time I decide to make a "poor choice" it still will be a choice made within reason.

So, my plan for this week as far as the gym goes:
Today- 25 mins on the bike followed by 1 hour training session
Tuesday - 25 mins on the bike followed by 1 hour upper body training session (self-guided)
Wednesday- "Mini vacation" as Edmund calls it.  I will do my best to get into the gym for a bike ride.
Thursday- 25 mins. on the bike followed by 1 hour training session
Friday -25 mins on the bike followed by 1 hour training session

To those who aren't into the gym, this may look like a daunting task. I rather enjoy it. Gets my batteries charged and makes it a whole heck of a lot easier to make better nutritional choices.

What have you done to make your Monday a great start for the week?