Week 6

Down another 3 pounds this week

Total weight loss: 18.7 pounds

I have to say I'm a little surprised to see 3 pounds this week. Last week wasn't the best nutritionally speaking. This week wasn't the best on either side due to being sick. 

I'm taking the number and running with it though. 

I am feeling better today. Taking a deep breath isn't as difficult as it was earlier in the week. 

Now, off to the gym then to CKC. 

Still down...

but not totally out.

Finally starting to feel more like myself again. I'm still getting a little winded doing menial tasks, but am not as exhausted as I was earlier in the week. Yesterday I made it into the gym; competed 25 minutes on the bike. I went back for more today, doing 27 minutes on the bike.  I should have a full training session tomorrow but have opted for a girls excursion instead. I'll head in early in the morning for a quick bike ride though. Will do at least 30 minutes.

Edmund (my trainer) told me he was proud of me today. Proud that I came into the gym to at least ride the bike while feeling under-the-weather. I was proud of myself too. I responded with "yes, I am too. It would have been too easy to sit on the couch and pout, but I opted to come in here to sweat-it-out".

I thought about the "easy to sit on the couch" part while I was driving home. It really isn't easier to sit on the couch anymore. The more I sit around doing nothing, the worse I feel. Let's face it, nutrition has gone right out the window while being sick. Why not exercise too? NOPE!  Not going to happen. There is no way I am going to let myself slip on that slippery slope. I am not going down that hill of despair! I'm holding my head high, dusting off the poor choices of the week and am moving forward.

Planning ahead for tomorrow's girls-day-out...
Breakfast is at home...having a handful of grapes before hitting the gym. Then I will have some eggs when I get back.

I'm packing a few snacks - a protein bar, fiber one bar and a piece of fruit.

Will be having lunch out - will do my best to make a better choice.

Dinner @ home with hubs and the kids.

I don't see why I will go over calories tomorrow. However, I am going to allow myself a little freedom if I do. The padding will be at lunch.

Saturday I WILL go to the gym in the morning for another bike ride.
Sunday I WILL either walk the treadmill or outside (hopefully the weather will cooperate).

Tomorrow's weigh in won't get me down. No matter what the scale says, I am going to keep on keeping on. I've had a rough week, that's OK. It's not going to define me or my journey.

Resting

I'm hurting big time today! Yesterday's workout kicked my arse!  My poor butt and hamstrings are feeling it. I'm sure I'll love it later, but right now, OUCH!  It's all good though.

No gym for me today. Tomorrow's workout must be light too. I woke up this morning feeling run down. I've been going to bed feeling that way for a few nights now. Headed in to the the good old Doc. Bronchitis strikes again!  Ten days of antibiotics should do the trick.

Allergies and Asthma

Easter went fairly well. I got a quick workout in the morning before the feasting really began. Well, that's only a half-truth. The feast began at breakfast. I, however, behaved myself. While everyone else at the table was feasting on french toast, bacon, eggs and toast, I made myself some healthy scrambled eggs with a little cheese served on a sandwich thin. Not a bad start to the day.

I did behave myself at lunch as well. Did indulge in some of the cake (and a few jelly beans) I made. All-in-all though, the day was a success. Only went over calories by about 150.  Not too shabby.

Today is a new day. And an allergy/asthma filled one. I woke up this morning with some major eye pain. Assuming it's from allergies. I've also noticed some wheezing. Fun-times are ahead for me!  As much as I love the prospect of spring - I HATE the allergens that come along with it. I'm having a hard time with the breathing, thus my energy stores are low.

That being said, I did get my workout in early this morning. It was all about the lower body today. Even though I am having trouble with breathing, I am still amazed at how fast I recover between sets. A few short weeks ago it would take me about a minute to recover my heart rate. Today? Took 30 seconds or less. I couldn't believe it!

Not only that, but while I was on the bike, I needed to increase the level in order to get my heart rate into my 'target' zone. I felt like I was working hard, but my heart rate wasn't increasing. Pushing that little "up" button did the trick!  Amazing!

Just 2 non-scale victories for today!

Speaking of the scale. I spoke with my trainer about my measurements on Saturday. He said I had an "increase" in some areas. He said that it's normal. He's trying to get me to build some muscle so when I enter "phase 2" and burn major fat, I'll have a great muscle base. I felt a bit better about things after our talk this morning. Not only that, I remembered I have my appointment with the nutritionist later next week. Her scale will be telling.

Tomorrow's challenge: get myself up and out of bed and into the gym for a 25 minute bike ride.

Feeling Deflated

Today I went into the gym for my measurements and weight check. I went into the gym all excited to confirm my 15.7 pound weight loss to only see a 10 or 12 pound loss on their scale. (I can't remember the exact amount, and am not feeling up to looking at the paperwork again).

The question now is whether or not it's my scale that needs calibrating or is it theirs that needs a little help? Personally, I would like to kick theirs. I know I shouldn't be living by the numbers on the scale. But it's sometimes easier said than done.

I guess the biggest question now is: how am I going to deal with this news? Well, I plan on keep on trucking along. I'm letting go of the evil scale at the gym and paying attention to the one at home that's been keeping a smile on my face. I'm also going to celebrate every single non-scale victory I have.

Onward and downward...

Week 5 Weigh In

Can I get a Woot! Woot!   

Down 3.4 pounds this week!  

Total 15.7 

Averaging 3.14 pounds a week. For me, that's HUGE!  I can't be more pleased with the results thus far. 

Stress

Danzae Pace ~ Stress is the trash of modern life - we all generate it but if you don't dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life ~

Well, if that isn't the truth, I don't know what is! Finding good, healthy ways to deal with stress is so important to both our mental as well as physical health. 

I, for one, am working on just that. I'm carrying around a lot of stress (who isn't?).  I know I need to deal with stress in ways which are helpful rather than hurtful. It's finding those ways and breaking bad habits that is so hard. It's a daily struggle.

How do I feel stress?  I clench my teeth! My jaw is constantly tight (especially at night while I sleep). I've broken two teeth thus far and have cracks in a few others. I finally got a night guard to help with the clenching; if only I would remember to wear it!  

How do I cope with stress?  In two main ways: 

1. I eat. I eat a lot. I find anything (chocolate) that will help me feel better. All while knowing the food isn't making me feel better. It's making me feel worse. I feel sick to my stomach for eating bad choices, then I feel the tremendous amount of guilt and shame that goes along with it. Then I think of why I would put myself through this vicious cycle time and time again and think "I will never do this again". Only to be right back to that place the next time something is bothering me. 

2. I shop. I've gotten much better with this one. Really, I have! No joke! But, I need to tighten up a bit more. Right now the shopping addiction is cause for some of my stress. What can I say? I like my scrapping supplies and I love to dress the kids in cute clothes because I can't wear cute things myself (yet).  

There, I said it. Two of my biggest addictions are laid out there for you to see and read. Now, I have to face them and deal with them. It's the how I'm going to deal with them that's so important. 

Today's huge accomplishment was how I dealt with my stress. Today was a bad day as far as stress goes. I wanted to take part in old habits of reaching for the treats to numb-it all away. But I didn't. I talked myself out of it. The time I put in at the gym coupled with the fact that I KNOW it's not going to make things better, made me stop from jumping off the edge. Instead, I chose to pour my energy into research. Researching ways to help me feel better about the place I am in today so tomorrow can be better. 

How do you handle stress?  What are some better ways we could all use to cope with stress in a more helpful/healthful way?

Here's my list of things for me to try the next time I want to turn to food (or shopping)

1. Call a friend

2. Read a book

3. Go for a walk

4. Dance. I love music. We all should dance more often! 

5. Play a game with the kids

6. Clean (not fun, but it gets things done). 

Believe

My trainer keeps repeating to me that I need to "believe". To really believe that I can and will do this involves my letting go of the past. Letting go of the failures and celebrating the successes. Knowing that I can get this done. Knowing that I am worth all this work. Trusting the process. "There can be no room for self-doubt", says Edmund (my trainer). 

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.  ~Author Unknown

For me, it's a daily process to get into the mindset that I can do something - anything from weight loss to other difficult tasks. I've been focusing on what I want to accomplish each day instead of thinking about the reasons I can't get things done. 

If you think about it, it's so sad to see people (me) think so negatively about themselves. For so long I've thought about why I am not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough...etc.  (Makes me think about the old SNL skit with Stuart Smalley (Al Franken) -"I'm Good Enough, Smart Enough and Doggone it, People Like Me"). Today it's about realizing that I am good enough and I do deserve to be a part of this world to enjoy life to the fullest. 

We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.  ~Roderick Thorp, Rainbow Drive

Jello and Ice

Today's workout was done first thing this morning. If you know me, you know that I don't get up in the morning. Never have. I hate mornings. Anyone up before 7:30 should be banished to their own island.

Today was something new for me. I was up at 6:00. Tried to leave the house by 6:30 so I could get 20 minutes or so on the bike before working with my trainer. I ended up leaving the house a little later than what I would have liked, but I was able to be in the gym about ten minutes early. Baby steps. Maybe Thursday I'll be there fifteen minutes early.

Yesterday was all about the lower body. Today; upper body. My trainer has "guns". You know, he's built like the man of steel. I keep telling him I want "girl guns". Today I worked on getting one step closer to having them pop! By the end of the workout, my arms felt like Jello - in the end though, it's all worth it!

Let me fill you in on where I've come from as far as my upper body goes. Day one we did some "push-ups" using the wall. My arms felt like they were going to fall off. I've worked up to the ability to do an actual (albeit "girlie") push-up! Today I was benching the bar (45 pounds). The goal is to get my arms to a place where they can handle doing actual pushups without having to worry about the weight of my body crushing them. We're certainly getting there.

One of the remnants of yesterday's workout is knee pain. I didn't injure my knees. They just feel like they are on fire! Edmund just smiles and says it's time for ice. "You need to ice twice a day. It's not like you're going to the DR that just sits in his office now. This is sports medicine. You need to ice twice a day for twenty minutes." What? Sports medicine? Me? Sports? When did that happen? I guess it was the day I set foot in the gym. So, here I sit with my ice and jello arms. Loving every second of it.

I'm Back!!

Finally! I am back! I have so much to catch up on, but for now it's just the basics.

I decided to join a gym; hired a personal trainer. It's been four short weeks, I'm down 12.3 pounds!  That is HUGE for me! Normally it would take me about six weeks to lose ten pounds, never mind twelve in four! Crazy stuff is going on here for me. I'm loving every minute of it too. Seriously.

What brought me to the gym? Well, a few things. One, if people like Arthur and Courtney on The Biggest Loser can do it, so can I! And Two (most important reason), I'm having some health issues. Nothing that won't allow me to be active, but stuff that is serious enough to warrant me to get into shape. Unfortunately, I don't want to talk about it as of yet. Just know that it is nothing weight related and I'm going to be OK.

I am very lucky to have such a great trainer. I found him through Elizabeth Ruiz (Biggest Loser Season 10). She posted about her working at this gym, I commented, she responded and the rest is history. Elizabeth also trains with me when she is able. She's a huge inspiration. Her and I took a small walk last week which lead me to some thinking. She asked me what I wanted to do when the weight was off. What are my goals? My response was that I can't think that far ahead. I've been down this road a million times only to give up. This time feels different though (not just saying that, it honestly does). I'm feeling like I can actually set some goals or a wish list of things I would like to feel/do throughout my journey.

Here's my list thus far. I will add to it/update as time fits.

1. Be able to tie my shoes without having to sit down.
2. Have the laces on my shoes sit in the middle of the shoe, not on the side. (sounds strange, just a little annoyance of being heavy).
3. Have the ability to get up off the floor without thinking about how I am going to do it.
4. Go for a bike ride.
5. Complete a 5K
6. Feel comfortable enough to take my kids to a water park.
7. Be able to fully enjoy said water park (go down the slides with the kids).
8. Fit on rides with the kids (Disney doesn't count - they are "size-friendly")
9. Shop at any store I want to for clothes.
10. Not have to shop in the "plus size" section of department stores.
11. Go hiking.
12. Hike to the top of Mt. "what's-it-called". (there is a small mountain here that I tried climbing when I was in high school. Everyone in my group finished, I had to walk back down by myself when we were almost 1/2 way up).


I had a list of about fifty things in my head and of course I can't think of them all right now. Murphy's Law.