Monday, March 12, 2012

Getting Back

Alright. Enough is enough.

That is my mantra every. single. day.

Today isn't much different other than that so far I'm really living that mantra (it's not quite noon yet so I can't be claiming success!). I'm going back to my moment to moment and going no further than that. I was up on the scale this morning. Big time. No more. I will not gain everything back and start at square one all over again. I will not go back!

As it is, I'm starting to feel like I did a year ago. I'm out of breath and I hurt. Some of my clothes are getting tight. That is so depressing! I need to work hard at finding ways around my pain and get-it-done. I haven't been in the gym for about 6 weeks now!  YIKES!  I wish I could go for a walk or do an exercise tape. I just can't right now with my feet being in pain.

Although, today is the first day in a long time that my feet are pain-free!  I have a physical therapy appointment tomorrow and an appointment with the podiatrist on Wednesday. I'm going to discuss with both of them the idea of having another cortisone shot (ouch!). My thinking is that if I can get my feet to pain free on a more permanent basis (at least 6 months with the cortisone shot), then I can concentrate on working hard to get this weight off. This is my life with plantar fasciitis.

Another possible hurdle is the Welbutrin. I've switched my time of intake (DR suggestion) to before bedtime. Because I tend to remember my meds before bed, I am more likely to stay consistent. And I have been. It's really helped me get my moods back in the right direction. I'm not feeling as moody as I have been, which is great for everyone!  The downside though is that my ears are ringing. Ringing bad. I have partial hearing loss on my left side as it is so hearing nothing but ringing and swishing doesn't help matters. The other issue I ran into last night was that my dreams were out of control!  I was feeling paranoid. Like someone was after me. I was constantly trying to hide. When I finally got myself to wake up, I couldn't shake the paranoid feeling. I'm OK right now. We'll have to see if it was just a fluke last night or if I will need to change things up. Again.

Getting back to the idea of the gym and getting workouts in, I'm trying to sell our treadmill. I can't use it. It's just sitting here collecting dust. I'm hoping to unload it soon so I can turn around and purchase a stationary bike. Having a bike at home will be such a huge help. I'll be able to get cardio in on days where it's difficult getting to the gym. Hopefully we can get that done soon.

Until then, I'm just here dealing with life on a moment-to-moment basis. Back to basics. Logging. No more fooling around. Enough. is. enough.

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