Saturday, March 17, 2012

The million dollar question

To medicate or not to medicate?

Well, the answer is to NOT medicate. Sadly, I am coming off of the Wellbutrin. I sent off an email to the doctor earlier in the week because my ears are ringing. I have partial hearing loss with tinnitis as it is so this added ringing just isn't fun. My poor kids, I'm constantly asking them to speak up. They are tired of having to repeat themselves (maybe they'll learn something from that - doubt it!). So, with the tinnitis and the other side effects, we're opting to get me off of the Wellbutrin. Watch out world!  ;-)

My doctor is reluctant to put me on anything else. She is so overly concerned with my gaining weight. I was on Fluoxetine for four years and didn't gain anything due to the medication. I'm not worried about it. I've been obese my whole entire adult life. Hell, I've been obese since I was an early teenager, I'm not concerned about adding pounds, I'm more concerned about getting along in life. I wish she'd get that! Anyway, once I am weaned off, I will meet with her about getting on to something else.

Until then, it's back to eating right for me!
I didn't do too bad this week. I have one more day to go before I weigh in on Monday. I've decided to just start the slate clean. My new day one was last Monday. I'm filing away the weight loss from last year and starting anew. I think it's the best thing to do as I've been up and down the same 10-15 pounds since December.

Today was the first day that I've really felt my weight gain. It's just a slight gain, but I could feel it in my jeans. My belly feels so incredibly full. I'm so bloated and could hardly button my pants. My husband and I did a lot of work around the house (spring cleaning sort of stuff), and I could hardly move. I felt like I did when I was nearly forty pounds heavier!  I haven't felt this bad in a very, very long time!  I'm *almost* feeling hopeless. *Almost* ready to say to hell with it and do the drastic thing and go for the consult for the surgery. But, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to stay the coarse and will make progress.

Hubs had his check-up last week and was given a month to get things in order before he's put on blood pressure meds. He hates meds as much as I do so he's ready to get going with me. That will be a huge help to me!  We've done the weight loss thing together in the past and have done really well. He always feels bad though because he loses so much faster than I do. He's a typical male. Lucky SOB! HAHA. I have to fight for every ounce...but as long as I have a sparring partner, I think I will be OK.

I have LoseIt.Com open in my browser. All ready for more logging. We did our meal planning this morning for the week ahead. All is ready to get into week two.


  1. Hi Jenn, I used to be depressed and on medication many years ago. What helped me was to do a writing journal to write down everything I was imploding on--until every issue with its details was out on paper. Then I made new life rules to effectively deal with these issues. Mostly, it was childhood issues. I am very much happier now--and no drugs.

    I did all of this when I was in my 30's. Being overweight often has to do with childhood issues. When I resolved some of these issues, I got much slimmer. I'd be willing to talk with you more in detail about this through email if you like.

    :-) Marion

    1. Thanks Marion! I have a chemical really comes and goes. Would love to just get to the point where I can feel normal 99% of the time!