Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Blank screen

I've been sitting here staring at a blank screen hoping that a post would magically write itself so I could click "publish". I am out of things to talk about right now. My world is stuck with this bathroom debacle (I know, I know. I said I wouldn't bring it up again, sorry), and other stuff rolling around in my mind. I honestly don't know what to talk about.

I took it to the internet to read other blogs looking for inspiration and ideas.  The first one I read annoyed me a little. When I read the comments though, I realized that maybe I was reading the blog the wrong way. Maybe I should move on.

I then moved onto another blog - Kenlie's over at AllTheWeigh.com  which lead me to feel sad and a little angry. I first stumbled across Kenlie's blog probably sometime last summer. I was in awe by the fact that she had lost so much weight and she was keeping it off. She was living the part of life that I wanted to be. She was doing it the old fashioned way. Diet and exercise. No quick fixes. No surgery (not that I'm condoning it - I do believe that it can be the right choice - but that's not the discussion right now). Just good old-fashion sweat and tears. 

As time went on, I realized that Kenlie was just like so many of us. She is struggling. She wants to break through to the next level. She wants it so bad. But how? I admire that she hasn't walked away from her blog. I think it's brave of her to keep discussing her struggles. This is a hard road to walk. If you've never struggled with your weight, I mean really, really struggled, then you have no idea how hard this is.  It's difficult to face your friends and family. It's difficult to face the land of the interwebs but it's even more difficult to face the person in the mirror on a daily basis. I give Kenlie a lot of credit for sticking things out.  She is a braver woman than I will ever be. How many times have I walked away? Too many to count.

What makes me mad is how cruel people can be when being put in front of a computer screen. People can be so quick to judge and say terrible things to others just because they are able to hide behind a screen.  It's not right. She has mentioned her "haters" before. I can't even imagine. People (none of you, of coarse) suck sometimes!

Now that I am feeling annoyed, sad and a bit mad, I pop over to see how JD is doing at http://700poundsisasbadasitsounds.blogspot.com/  where I am now  floored and yell "WHAT!"  I think my eyeballs are still bouncing around my desk with the news I saw on his blog today! 

If you've never read JD's blog, you should! He has made getting healthy his bitch (sorry, don't mean to offend, but it's true!). When I first started reading his blog, he could hardly stand on his own two feet to make himself something to eat because he was writhing in pain. Now he is walking a mile and a half a day, making himself (and others their) meals and today he did SQUATS! Simply amazing. I applaud you JD. Stand up and take a bow my friend. You are really doing it. Congratulations.

Now that I've gone full circle with the emotions tonight, I am left thinking about where I am on this spectrum. I am not in a "rut", yet I am not 100% committed.  I try to be. I honestly do. I think I'm somewhere in between the Kenlie and JD's of the world.  That's OK by me. I truly believe that I will get there "this time" because I am not looking for the instant gratification. I am taking is slowly and I'm living life. There will be times when I fight hard and there will be times that the fight is hard.

I believe Kenlie will find her way. One way or the other, she will. I also believe that before you know it, JD will be walking a 5K while I'm off running in another one.  We will all get there. We will.
Off to read some more blogs. Wonder what emotions that will bring?  I shudder to think. :)

Have a happy and healthy day!


  1. You sure know how to make a super fat guy feel like he just won the Mr. Universe contest. Hopefully someday I can live up to the hype.

    Thanks for the encouragement Jenn!

  2. Hi Jenn,
    You are awesome! You basically put into words what I never can. And believe me, you are brave!

    On haters - I never could understand that. I guess I was always taught if you can't say something good, don't say anything. Thank you too for introducing me to Kenlie.

    On JD - I agree with you 100% on how great he is doing. But so are you. I just recently kick-started trying to live a healthy life - again. You give me so much inspiration and I want to thank you.

    1. Thanks Linda! I'm just a girl who's trying to find her way. One moment at a time. :)