Oh phooey!  I'm not getting any better with posting. I'm not getting any better with keeping on with my plan either. Guess that's why I am avoiding you? 

I'm still maintaining my weight. I'm OK with that seeing all the Christmas parties and such that have been going on and that are filling up the calendar as we speak. My ultimate goal right now is just to make it through. If I can get to the gym and do the best I can with the eating, I should maintain and then I can really focus once all this stuff is done. So hard to concentrate when everyone around you is talking about and serving up loads and loads of treats. I did turn down ice cream last night, so I am heading in the right direction right there. 

And now for some fun...

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM: I am…

1. I am good at… being a Mom.  At least I hope I am. :D 

2. I am happy when… I'm with family and/or friends. 

3. I am working on… being an elf with all the decorating, shopping and wrapping I'm doing these days. Almost done! Also working on keeping the eating in check this holiday season. I would like to at least maintain through New Years! Oh, and am working on blogging more...good thing New Year's is coming...another resolution!

4. I am interested in…scrapbooking, photography (really need to take a class)

5. I am always… tired. Well, seems that way these days. 

6. I am enjoying… decorating for Christmas. I purged a lot last year and the year before. Now I'm working on rebuilding my decor. Having tons o'fun! 

8. I am reading… blogs and status updates. I have my beloved Kindle. Haven't read a book in quite some time though. Best get back to it before I forget how to read. 

9. I am concerned about…Cancer. I don't think about it every day but I do think about it. Gotta keep positive thoughts though. 

10. I am looking forward to…the weekend. Heading to a Christmas party - second one in as many weeks. Can't wait to have a little fun!  Then I can't wait til Christmas!  

Now it's your turn! 

Not Quitting

Don’t Quit (Edgar A. Guest Poem)

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low but the debts are high,

And you want to smile but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit…

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit!

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many failures turn about

When we might have won had we stuck it out.

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow…

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor’s cup;

And he learned too late when the night came down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out…

And you can never tell how close you are

It may be near when it seems so far.

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit

It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

(Edgar A. Guest)

How profound. I just happened across this poem and I can't be happier that I did. There have been so many times I've felt like quitting. There are many more times that I have quit (in the past). This time has been a bit different in that I'm still trying hard to get back on the track. Trying really hard to not lose focus. Trying even harder not to put back on the weight that I've worked so hard to take off, and harder still to keep those bad eating habits at bay. 

This journey does have a lot of "twists and turns", just like most anything in life that is worth having/doing/accomplishing. One of the things I keep trying to keep in my mind is that as hard as it is to take off every pound, it's a heck of a lot harder to carry around more pounds. I really realized this earlier today when I was carrying my pre-schooler who was napping in from the car. He weighs about 35 pounds. By the time I got to his bedroom (no stairs), my heart was racing and I was out of breath. I took a moment to think about the fact that not that long ago I had 35 + another 10 on me. No wonder I never felt good. It was a huge reminder of the many, many reasons I am on this journey in the first place. 

So, like I said, I happened across the above poems while fooling around on the interweb...then I come across this article from CBS about why you're not achieving your goals. Interesting little read. For me, I would have to say that I don't always "own" my goal and I've always tried to go-it-alone. Big mistakes. 

In the past, my weight-loss efforts were for other people. Not because anyone specifically "asked" me to lose weight, but I thought I would do it to "show them", that sort of thing. Never reached my full term goals. And I was always "afraid" to ask for help. As if I'm weak. Not this go around. I've had the help of my hubs and two trainers. Right now I am more alone than I would like to be. Hopefully I can get hubs on board soon though. And as soon as the funds allow, I will be re-hiring my trainer. Until then, it's "Uncle" Gym and I. 

Still dragging

I've been feeling very blah as of late. Not sure why. I love the holiday season, so it's not that. I think some of it is that I've been very upset with myself for losing focus. I've worked so hard over this last year, but have been dragging behind since September. I've done OK (using loosely) with the eating, but certainly things could have been much, much better!

The last two weeks have been the worst. I swore I wasn't going to let Thanksgiving throw me off too much. It's just one day. No need to indulge in the days preceding. Wish I stuck to that plan!  A lot of it is emotional eating. I hate Thanksgiving. Not sure why. Just do. I know I am in the minority here, and that's OK. I love what the day stands for, just don't like it as a whole. I am glad to see it gone.

This week I am better though. Back to being a bit focused. I still feel a bit out-of-touch with myself, but am trying really hard to find a reason why. I'll get there.

Friend Makin' Mondays: Holiday Shopping

I've been out of the loop for way too long. Part of it is that I was focusing on other stuff like getting the house cleaned, prepping for Thanksgiving and getting some crafting done for my son's school. It's been busy around here and I've been pulling back. I'm trying to claw my way back into the world though, so please bear with me while I try to find my spot. I'll talk more about that this week. 

Onto FMM:

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Friend Makin’ Mondays: Holiday Shopping

1. Do you like to shop? Not really. Although I do love my Target runs. 
2. Have you started shopping for Christmas gifts yet? Of course! I am an early shopper. I try to have everyone except my kids done by Thanksgiving. I just about had that accomplished. Still have one niece to get something for though - they get tough as they get older. I tend to over buy for my kids so I try to wait until later to do their shopping so I don't forget that I have already bought them 100 things. :D 
3. Did you shop on Black Friday?  If so, what did you buy? I'm not typically into the Black Friday thing. I don't like crowds. I hate it when people push and shove and behave like barbarians. However, I did decide to partake in the activity this year. My reasoning was two-fold; 1. We could use a new TV. and 2. There were things in the Toys R Us ad that I wouldn't have otherwise bought if they weren't on a really good deal. That all being said, I dropped hubs off at Target to wait in line for the TV while I headed over to TRU for the toys. I did have to wait for 2 hours in the cold, but it wasn't all that bad. I would certainly do it again. Hubs on the other hand?  He had to wait for 5 hours in the freezing cold with people who were, well...not sure how to finish that statement while being nice. And to add to that, Target security wouldn't let me get in line with him. So, I waited in the car. At least I was warm. Sorry honey.  Anyway, he did get the TV but you won't be seeing him on the curbside again in any year to come. 
4. List a few of your favorite stores.  Target and  Michaels
5. What is the last thing you purchased for yourself (food and drinks excluded?) clothes. I hit the holiday sale at The Avenue on Saturday. Did pretty well for myself.
6. Do you prefer to shop in-store or online?  In-store. I like having what I want when I want it. 
7. If you could purchase one thing that you don’t need at all for yourself today, what would it be?  Not sure. Either a camera (not in dire need of one but the two I have (DSLR and point/shoot are both on their way out) or a Silhouette Cameo. 
8. Does your significant other shop with you?  Do they love it/hate it? Sometimes. He doesn't mind shopping. 
9. Do you shop at thrift stores? No. I don't have the patience to ruffle through racks. Wish I did, could save me some serious cash. :D 
10. When you’re holiday shopping, do you make lists?  Yes. I have an app for that. ;-) 

Now it’s your turn so copy and paste, add your own answers then come back here and link up!  Happy Monday friends!

Great workout

My schedule was thrown to pieces yesterday. The plan was to hit-the-gym right when my father came home (he's home early and can watch the boys for me while I am out), but that didn't happen. My eldest was all out of sorts and I wasn't about to leave him with his grandfather for an hour. By the time my husband got home, the kids were fed, and the bedtime routine was started, I was pooped. The last thing I wanted to do was a workout. But, I sucked it up and went.

I pulled into the gym to see a sea of cars and people. I couldn't believe my eyes. The gym was the busiest I have ever seen it. There are always classes of some sort going on so I tend not to panic. Although, I was a little worried when I had to park in one of the last open spots. YIKES!  Gonna be busy!  Anyway, I walk in with a crowd of people. No exaggeration either. The woman behind me even commented on it being so busy. It was like a Black Friday sale was happening! Seriously.

Lucky for me my bike was open. Good thing too because all the elliptical and treadmills were in use. Couldn't believe it. So, I hop on my bike and decide it's too busy in the gym for a full workout so I will only do the bike. And I gave myself permission to go easy seeing as this breathing thing is rough with this lingering cold. What ended up happening was a different story.

Here I was on my bike pedaling away. I noticed I wasn't in too rough of a shape so I pedaled harder and faster. I made it to 5 miles in just over 22 minutes. (I do a slow warm up for 3 mins so I am fairly pleased with the time). I hop off the bike to see all these muscle heads pumping iron. I really didn't want to fight for weights. I walked around for a few minutes and decided that there isn't any reason we all can't share. I kicked my ass. OK, so I kicked my arm's ass...it was great. I haven't done a full upper body workout in weeks. No pain. Can't wait to try the bench press and some pushups again! Can't. Stop. Me.

Tonight was no different. I hit the gym a little later than what I would have liked but got a decent workout in. Just did the bike tonight though. I have a one hour block scheduled for my gym time in the morning so I opted to rest the muscles today. Thursday is always a gym-day as my son has tennis lessons so I get to work out while he's learning. Win-win.

So, as far as the gym goes, I am rocking it this week.
Food wise? I'm OK. I've been feeling shaky and not right so have been eating a little more than I should be. I need a few days of balanced eating under my belt so the sugar spikes can stop.

Overall, it hasn't been a bad start to the week.

The Monday Grind

Coming off a relaxing and very full weekend makes getting back into the weekly grind a little rough. I stayed up late last night to watch the football game. Was bummed at half-time when the score was too tight and couldn't call it a night. Slept like a baby though once the Pats drove it home for a win...needed that big time! So, it makes for a (slightly) happier Monday.

Like a lot of other people out there, this is the start of the busy season. It always feels like something needs to get done so something else needs to be put on the back burner while everything else is being tended to. I started thinking that way about my weight loss journey. Things have been on hold for the last three weeks. It would be so easy to just say "maintain" until after Christmas and New Year's. Let's face it, there's going to be a lot of cooking next week. Lot's to be done to prep for that both this week and next. Then we fly right into the hustle and bustle of Christmas.

Adding to all that, I also chair a booth at my son's school for the "Holiday Shop". The school holds a shop for the kids to buy things for their loved ones for the holiday season. It's a great idea. I went to the same school when I was a kid and still have very fond memories of some of the items I bought (i.e. the pet rock I lovingly bought for my grandfather. He was such a sport with loving and taking care of the rock. I was so proud.) Anyway, I am making 200+ picture frames for the event. It's getting down to crunch time and it all needs to get done along with all the other stuff.

Crazy times are ahead. But, that doesn't mean it's OK to fluff off the other important stuff. My half a second thought of letting myself maintain for the holiday season was met with frustration with myself for even contemplating that idea. Let's face it, there is always going to be something standing in our way of our goals. If we don't stand up to those somethings now, we will never reach the goals we have and thus always feel like a failure.

So, my goals for this week are:
1. No eating out (although, I already broke that one this morning with my schedule so I will have to work a little harder on that one).

2. Continue planning (I did a meal plan for the week - just have to plan for the unplanned).

3. Gym!  Monday: 20 mins cardio then upper body
               Tuesday: 20 mins cardio then lower body
               Wednesday: 30 mins cardio
               Thursday: 20 mins cardio mix upper and lower depending on how I'm feeling
               Friday: 30 mins cardio
               Saturday: 30 mins cardio - C25K

Weekend Update

What a nice, relaxing weekend. I got to have some much needed "me" time. I find it so important to have some time to myself, makes me a better Mom, Wife and Friend. 

That is the good news. The bad news? The eating hasn't been anything close to stellar. We ate out three times and just had a fairly large Sunday dinner. (Thanks Honey, it was yummy), but my stomach is killing me. I guess it's a good thing...a reminder of sorts that I shouldn't be eating this way and no am "paying the piper" as they say. Here comes the heartburn. Going to be a long night. 

The coming week is going to be about digging deep to find that spark I had at the beginning. I need to get back to the basics here. The gym needs to be in the forefront of my mind. I don't want to have another weekend like this where I eat too much and feel so full I could pop. I've done so well at kicking that habit, don't want it to come creeping back in on me. 

So, here is to digging deep and finding it in me to get things moving again! 

Veteran's Day

Thank you to all Veterans past and present for all you do and have done to protect our freedoms.

And I can't forget to thank the families of all Veterans for all the sacrifices they have made. 

Thank you! 

Pain, Pain, go away!

I'm starting to have a rough time with my pain levels. I haven't had much by way of bone pain all summer long and here we are about to enter the long, cold months of winter and I am starting to be in pain. Again. It was just about a year ago that I had the worst pain in my leg - ever. I wanted to cut it off. Just recently I had a similar pain in my hand. I've also had small pains in my hip. I just keep fluffing it off, hoping it's just in my imagination, but it's real.

I am 36 years old. I shouldn't have all these "ailments" (as my late grandmother would say). But boy am I feeling old today!  My fingertips are starting to turn a dark purple/blue color from the Raynaud's and my hand just aches. I'm doing everything I can to just not cry. I don't want to cry because the pain is unbearable (it's not), but because of the utter despair I feel. What is going on with me?

I was virtually pain-free all summer long. I felt great. Today is a totally different story. I feel like everything is falling apart. I'm finding myself desperately searching the internet for answers. I'm even thinking about doing the gluten-free thing again for awhile to see what happens. And yet, I am also thinking that there is something about environmental changes that my body just. doesn't. like.

When I was thirteen I went swimming in my very cold pool in late May. I would beg and beg and beg my father to open the pool and he ultimately would just to keep me quiet. Well, that particular year I jumped in the pool did my swimming thing, came out and had all these bumps all over me. Didn't know what they were. Whatever. I warmed up, went back in and after awhile came back out again. I will never forget what happened next. I was standing on our back deck chatting with my mom, grandmother and my friend. I was all wrapped up in a towel, still wet from the pool. When all of a sudden my limbs got weak. I rushed to sit down. I could only think. Speaking was so difficult. There was a ringing in my head like you wouldn't believe. I was trying to say "call 911" but I couldn't muster up the energy. Then I started to lose my eyesight. I guess I did say that allowed because my mother pushed my head down between my legs so I wouldn't pass out. After warming me up a bit, I was able to get dressed and warm up in bed. I remember my grandmother coming in to check on me and she commented on how grey I was. 

It turned out that I had cold-induced urticaria (hives). The doctor told my mother how lucky I was that things didn't go worse. Basically, I was lucky to be alive. I should have gone to the hospital that day, but I luckily had an angel on my shoulder that day. 

As it turns out, I have urticaria again. This time it's heat-induced.  I thought I wrote about it over the summer but I can't find any such posting. I had a rash over the summer. I got the same rash the previous summer too. No one could tell me what it was. I had a biopsy done this summer and it turned out to be urticaria, most likely from the sun. When summer ended, so did the rash. 

So, this is what is making me think my symptoms are environmentally triggered. This pain I'm having, I've had for the last 3, maybe 4 winters. Getting worse with each passing year. So, needless to say, I am back on the warpath of finding out just what is going on with me. I've set up another appointment with the rhumetologist. That appointment is in early December. Until then, I will be here reading and reading and reading; searching for answers. 

I don't mean so sound like a Debbie Downer. I really don't. I've always said "I have MGUS, it doesn't have me" and that still holds true. When you're in pain though, the game changes a bit...I just want answers. 

Tough to get old

This is a cake I made for my Mom's friend who turned 50. 

I walked into the doctor's office yesterday carrying my not-quite three year old who was just waking. Of course, all eyes are on him and ultimately me; being the mom who's carrying in a sleeping "baby". 

I check in and move on over to the door closest to where I will be called so I won't have to carry him further than I need to. (The little bugger is getting heavy!) I sit down and take a quick glance around the room. Not only are all eyes on me, but I am the youngest one in there. 

My goodness, I thought. Everyone else in that waiting room was at least 60 but most were in their 70's I would say. Half had canes. One had a walker. The women were mostly scowling. One man reminded me of my late grandfather, especially when he flirted with the nurse who came to get him. There was one woman who commented on how good my little guy was, then told me she had to go to the bathroom (again). 

The older man with the walker was there with his wife. He kept looking at my little guy with a little grin on his face as if he were remembering days of his young-ins or his (great?)grandkids. I noticed the two of them chattering together so comfortably. They just seemed to fit together like a glove. He got called away and came back with his arm bandaged and his sleeve rolled up. His wife lovingly fixed him up, unrolling his sleeve so he wouldn't get cold - or look ridiculous - either way, it was sweet. 

Then I began to think about how lucky I am to be with the man of my dreams. He's so good to me. He fusses over me just the way that little old lady did to her man. So sweet and caring. I'm so lucky to have that in my life and thought about how when we're old and grey, that will be us too. 

I then thought about how rough it really must be to get old. Thinking about all the changes my body has gone through in just my thirties alone - YIKES!  "Can't" wait to see what the forties and beyond bring. Seeing how many people in the waiting room had canes and bathroom issues made me really stop to think about how I need to get myself back on the track to wellness. None of us know how long we have on this planet. I especially worry that my time is going to be cut short with the MGUS lurking down my neck. All the more reason to get up and move. And eat a carrot stick or two. :) 

Trick-or-Treat

I know, I know. I'm a day (8days) late and a few dollars short. But, due to last week's storm we had to move Trick-or-Treating to this past Sunday.

The town decided to make the hours a little earlier than our usual. We headed out while it was still very light out. Strange. There was about a 60% participation rate with the handing out of the candy. I suspect it had more to do with the date change than anything else. Some people (us included) left bowls out on the front steps for the little ghouls to grab from. Typically my Mom would stay at the house to hand out the candy but she was off at the Patriots game. Both my husband and I really enjoy going out with the kids so we decided to leave the bowl out.

Trick-or-Treating not on Halloween is very strange. It's November and we're doing Halloween stuff. The kids didn't seem to mind though. They were so happy to have their Halloween and their candy. My little guy really got into it this year. So cute to watch him go up to the door to say "trish-a-treats" and "thank youuuu" only to turn and run saying "YIPEEE" or "YAHOO" followed by a little dance move. As he got tired, his big brother was sweet and would grab him a pieces of candy. So nice how they can help each other out at times.

When we finally got home, I let them have just about whatever they wanted. I am from the school of thought that says to let them have all they want that night, they won't want much more after then. And I was right. My eldest ate himself into a small bellyache. The little guy could have kept going but it was bed time. The little one carried his pumpkin around all day yesterday. We gave them both 3 pieces of candy to last the day. It was amazing to watch my little one ration his supply to make it last the day. As of noon today, neither of them have asked for a morsel of candy. Well, they could have asked the hubs and I don't know about it...I will just pretend no one has asked.

And to the most important part: How am I handling the candy in the house?  Not bad. I had the kids pay their tax that night. I had one mini kit-kat yesterday and that's been it. I don't even want any. I am in a good place this week. I told myself that I wasn't going to have anymore and I haven't. I'm being as on as I can be to Thanksgiving. It's a little difficult with a cold. I find I am much more hungry when I' am fighting a cold. It's also harder to workout because of the weakness. I feel fine just as long as I keep a low profile. And that's what I am doing the next day or so. Keeping a low profile so I can get this cold out of me and then I will punch-it-up at the gym.

Snowtober

Well, that was fun. Or not.
I'm talking about the roller coaster ride of life from last week, and even prior to last week.
Don't get me wrong, disaster was adverted...but it was a near-miss.

Bringing us back to our last adventure; I was about to host a Halloween Party for the kids. Now, when I invited half of my son's school to the party, I was planning on having it outside! We haven't had rain on Halloween weekend in YEARS! History has also shown the last weekend of October to be unseasonably warm. So, here we are. Getting ready for a Halloween Party all the while prepping for a storm. Not just any storm mind you. Not a little rain. Not a little wind. Nope. We're talking a full-on nor'easter!  In October?  You've got to be kidding me?

So, all the plans I had for making the yard all spooky and doing a haunted house in the play structure went right out the window. Have to move it all inside. Totally not prepared for that! Staying up later than I should have, I decked out my kitchen and living room to resemble some spooky haunted house. My kids got a kick out of all the cobwebs, spiders, bats, and upside down photos on the walls.

And no good Halloween party would be complete without spooky faire. I carved a "puking" pumpkin, made "severed" finger cookies (thanks to Rachel Ray's recipies), a witch's brew, and decorate-your-own cupcakes complete with worms and spiders on the ready.

Getting through the day was a challenge. I was exhausted and ready to drink - heavily afterwards. I had 24 kids in my house!  All at once. Some parents stayed. Thank goodness. They were my back-up, hostages even. I needed all the adult help I could get!  First we started the party with a ring-toss game using a witches hat. I handed out prizes to the few how "rung" the hat. That was a mistake. The kids then took it upon themselves to continue playing the hat game in between us setting up the next activities. The wanted prizes and more prizes. I was distracted. They knew it. I knew it. The won. 

After the hat game, I had set up a craft table. While some were doing crafts, others were doing the donut-on-a-string game. I think that was my favorite game to watch. The kids were really good sports, some were even a little competitive. Fun, all the same. 

The last "major" activity was "wrap the mummy" where you have a team of 3 to 4 kids who use toilet paper to wrap one of their team mates up in. It was my most anticipated game. I thought it would be a big hit. Not-so-much. We had 7 teams of kids. I think 2 of the teams had GREAT fun, while at least 2 had melt-downs. The rest were just along for the ride. 

Needless to say, it was a fun party. A bit stressful at times, but we made it through. 

That night came with a bit more fun...SNOW!  What!  Seriously?  Yes, seriously. What a nightmare. Here is a picture of some snow on our little Halloween decorations out in the front. 

One of my good friends asked me if I'd like to head out for a drink after the party. Why, yes!  We headed out and ended up deciding to stay around town because the snow was very heavy and coming down at a good clip. When we returned to the car we had to break out the scraper to get all the snow off. Boy was I wishing I wore my snowboots! In October? What?  

The drive home was nuts. We realized right away that some people had already lost power. Part of the road we were on was closed too. This was nuts. We were behind snow plows and bobbing and weaving through downed tree limbs. The storm had just started. It was going to be a long night. 

When I got home, I took a look in my yard to see a few limbs already down. Not fifteen minutes after being home did the power go out. We sat in the dark listening to all the crackling and booms from the trees breaking all around us. It was crazy. 

Here are a few pictures of my yard from the next morning...

No major damage was done. Amazingly enough. There was one huge branch a foot from my car. But my car was unscathed. Amazing. That white fence in the background took a little beating. My neighbors just put that up about a year ago. We seemed to have fixed it though. Hoping nothing else falls on it. There was also a table in the back that hasn't been put away yet for the winter. A large branch fell on that too. We thought there would have been glass all over the place for sure. Nope. Didn't break. Lucky. 

The worst part of all of this was the power being out. I'm in a good area of the grid. We don't typically lose power and if we do it's usually only for a few hours. It was out for a day or so once back in the 80's (so my parents tell me) and it's been out a few other times since I've lived here, but never more than 8-12 hours. This was a different story. We were out from Saturday 9:00PM (ish) to 4:00AM Wednesday. It was cold and dark. Everyone got grouchy. Eating well wasn't a part of the equation. Stores were closed. A McDonald's and a Dunkin Donuts was open along with a few other fast food places. It was a mess. 

I was very thankful for my neighbor who scored a few camping generators from someone. We were able to run the heat so we didn't freeze to death. I almost cried when they got that hooked up. I don't think I could have been any happier. It's amazing what the little things will do when you are down. I just kept thinking about other real disasters like tornado, earthquake, tsunami, and hurricane victims. We were lucky to have zero damage to our house. As crappy as it was to hunt for open places to eat and to have to bundle up really tight to keep warm, we still had/have a roof over our heads. Really need to be thankful for that! 

And a little side note to this power outage story. Earlier in the week my son had a field trip to a local "colonial day" home. The kids were excited to "live colonial day" style. Well, for a day they were. They even got tired and bored with it all very quickly. 

So, I have been wanting to get on here and write and get all back on track since we got our power back last Wednesday. It just wasn't in the cards. Wednesday was spent clearing and cleaning out the fridge and shopping to replace all lost items. Also had a ton of laundry and general cleaning to catch up on. Amazing what a lack of electricity can do to your daily chores. 

The kids didn't get back into school until Friday. By then I was burned out. Still kind of am. I need a break. The weekend helped a little but I am still feeling a little frayed. Nothing a little me time won't heal. 

So, here we are. I have a fridge stocked with healthy goodness. I have a plan for the gym this week. (hoping I can handle that, I've been fighting a cold). I'm back to tracking everything that goes into my mouth and I have a menu plan. As the saying goes: "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail" (unknown). 

Week 31

I lost the pound I gained last week.

I made a decision. I am hiding the scale until Thanksgiving. I am just going to work on making better choices and hitting the gym and worrying less about what the scale has to say. I think I am mentally tied to hitting that 50 pound mark and am just moving so slow.

It all stops now....well, I have to get through tomorrow's Halloween party, then I will be all set to rock-n-roll. I'm already having a hard time. I baked cupcakes and have already had one. That on top of the muffins I made this morning, I have a stomach ache. I just cannot have this stuff in the house. I'll be chewing a lot of gum to get through today and tomorrow.

I do plan on working out this afternoon. I have to. There will be no time to tomorrow.

What are your weekend plans? How are you getting through Halloween?

Post Check-Up

Have you ever noticed when you hear an old song on the radio, you are snapped back into a memory from that time period. Like when I hear Prince's Little Red Corvette, I think of my girl friends from high school and how we'd turn the radio up as loud as it would go to sing and dance like a bunch of mad people. Or when I hear Lonestar's Amazed I am right back in my husband's arms wearing my wedding gown dancing our first dance at our wedding.

Or how about when you buy a new package of Scotch tape and think about Christmas (that's what I always think of anyway). When you pop open a new box of Crayola Crayons and think about the days of elementary school.

I am sitting in the waiting room of Dana Farber Cancer Center. I just washed my hands and am overwhelmed by the smell of the soap. The soap smells of a serious illness. How do I know what a serious illness smells like? Does illness even have a smell? If it did, it would smell like the soap at Dana Farber. Which is just silly because when I was here nine months ago, I thought the soap smelled of babies; reminding me of the birth of my boys. It's all relative now though. I am no longer birthing babies but rather fighting to keep myself cancer free.

I started to write this entry while I was at my appointment yesterday. I'm usually in the waiting room a long time and really wanted to capture for you, and me, what I feel like and what I am really thinking while at the center. I was called into the offices rather quickly though so wasn't able to really finish my thoughts. It's OK. Next time.

That all being said, my visit went rather well. Still don't have the results back on the protein levels (that's an important one for my condition), but everything else was OK. I did ask Doc about my Raynaud's. It seems a lot worse than last year. My fingers and toes have been feeling the effects of the cold a lot earlier in the season. That had me a bit concerned. Doc decided to run a few more tests but the likelihood of my having whatever-it-is that he was thinking about is so slim. In other words, it's doubtful that the Raynaud's and the MGUS are related.

So, it seems I can go on about my business again until my next check up in three months. I'm not nervous about my protein levels as everything else was in check. I'm not letting the MGUS define me or control me. Although I will admit that it does for about 1-2 weeks prior to my check ups. Once I see I am fine though, I move on. This is me moving on.

Catching Up

Sorry I have been away from the computer. My eyes have really been bothering me. I'm starting to wear my glasses on a more regular basis. Not liking it, but I have to.

Weigh in for Friday: up 1 pound. Not at all surprised. This week may not be much better...getting to that in a second.

The weekend was OK. I have a lot on my mind. Today is check-up day. Heading into Boston very soon to have my protein levels checked. It seems that even though I say I am OK, deep down I am worried that this will be the time he says I need another bone marrow biopsy or more testing. Chances are though that everything will be fine. So, I am giving myself until the end of the day today to get over this little bump and will be back at it hard until Thanksgiving. I promise. I promise myself that I am going to work as hard as ever for the next month. No excuses. No nothing.

Until then, I need to get through today.
I will keep you posted. Like I said though, I know the chances are that everything will be OK. It's just difficult to think about the "what ifs".

FMM: Sterotypes (on a Tuesday)

Yesterday just got away from me. I logged on to post a number of times but kept being distracted. To add to that, my head has been achy. I *should* wear glasses while I am on the computer but I haven't been and now I have a headache that just won't stop bugging me. It's my own fault. I really need to have the glasses adjusted (they are progressive lenses), but have been too lazy to get to the mall.

I am starting to think that this week is going to be a rough weigh in. I'm feeling like I'm holding a ton of water and my face looks like it's more full. My body takes a while to react to things so I'm thinking this may be from last week's fair-going and other things from then. Going to try to push the water and hit-the-gym hard for the next few days. I won't be too upset if I don't hit the 50 pound mark this week though. I knew the poor decisions from a week ago would catch up to me at some point.

And one other thing before moving on...I used to belong to an online message board for weight loss. The board was shut-down a few years back. One of the ladies decided to open up another board. It's very new. Not many people are there to chat with, but it's still a great community. If you have a moment and would like to stop by, we'd love to have you.... WeCanLoseIt.proboards.com

And now onto Friend Makin' Monday....a day late and a dollar short....

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM:  Stereotyping

Have you ever been the victim of stereotyping?  If so, will you elaborate?  What do you wish people thought of you as they notice you for the first time?

First I would like to say that there is a reason there are stereotypes. I don't get upset and offended by it because it's just a matter-of-fact. For example, I don't get upset when people tell me a Polish joke (I am Polish). I know Polish people aren't dumb, we just tend to look at things in a different way and people perceive that as being dumb. I also don't get upset when people talk about the Irish temper...I am also a bit Irish and have been known to let my Irish out a bit. It's all good. I don't go crying about it. It's a simple truth to laugh about. And that's the point, you have to laugh about it. If you can't laugh then you'll be crying  and what good is that?

That all being said, I hate "fat" stereotypes and get angry when I see the people who have created them. You know who I am talking about. The people who have given up all hope. The ones that don't shower and wear nothing but sweatpants and big 'ol sloppy shirts. You know what I am talking about right?  It breaks my heart when I see people like that. I always said to shoot me if I get to that point. 

And I was almost there. 50 pounds ago, I was almost to that point where I was about to give up all hope and say to hell with it. It was so hard to keep up with daily tasks. I was winded. I was tired. I was depressed. I hated going out in public. I didn't want to look people in the eye. Could they see my pain? Did they know that I was a human with feelings? Were they going to be mean to me or cast me dirty looks? I hated it. 

I still kinda do hate being out in public. Not as much as before though. I chuckle at things a little easier now. Like when we were at the fair last week there were these two boys (teenagers) who made a comment about my size. I honestly chuckled and thought to myself "oh, you have no idea". That is, no idea how far I've come. No idea at how strong I am. 

I have had many comments and looks tossed my way through the years. I honestly can't pinpoint any one in particular to tell you about, but I can say that yes, I have had the stereotype thing tossed my way. Most of the time though I just hold my head high and move along. It tends to shut that stuff down right in its tracks. 

Now it's your turn...

Weekend Wrap-up

What a crazy weekend!  My husband took my eldest down to see his parents on Saturday so it was just my little guy and I for the day. We went off to run errands and had a nice little lunch together. It's so nice to have one-on-one time with the kiddos. Although, I do have a lot of one-on-one time with the little guy while the bigger one is at school during the week. You know what I mean though.

This morning I took my eldest to Church. The first time in a long time, I am sad to say. My husband and I grew up and were married in the Catholic Church. Both of the boys were baptized in the Catholic Church, but we just never really were church-going people. I don't want to get into it but it's more that we don't agree with a lot of the Catholic Church's rules and the way they handle certain situations. Anyway, last year we started attending a Methodist Church. We really liked the Church and the Pastor was wonderful. The problem though was that if you missed a week, people were questioning you as to why and making comments that should have been kept to themselves. There were a few other "issues" that also led us to decide that it wasn't a place for us.

So, here we are in the Catholic Church. Again. My son is now a year behind his classmates as far as his first communion will go. He's OK with it though because there are a few kids in the neighborhood that are in the younger group so it's not like he doesn't know anyone.

So, here we are attending (Catholic) Church for the first time in a very long time. We walk in the front door, I bless myself with the Holy Water. I turn to show my son what to do and he dips his WHOLE HAND in the water. I was HORRIFIED!  There was a man coming up the stairs who saw the whole incident. Needless to say, he was none-too-happy too. I was laughing on the inside, horrified and mortified on the outside. I had to have a chat with him when we sat down. He took it in strides. Me? Not. So. Much.

So, there is my funny story of the weekend. And for some exciting news....
I wore a pair of jeans yesterday that were falling off...literally. They were really uncomfortable being so big. I would have changed had I had some clean clothes. This morning while I was getting dressed, I decided to dig out some new jeans that I bought on clearance over the summer. I didn't think they would fit, but thought it would be a good idea to have them out as incentive to keep movin'-it. I put them on. Got them to my hips and thought "there is no way"...I then got them over my hips and thought "OK, that's great, I will never be able to button them though". I was wrong again. They did button!  They were a bit on the tight side, but they buttoned. I wore them anyway. My top was long enough to cover the tightness in the belly. I enjoyed being in yet another smaller size and being that they were a bit tight it reminded me not to overeat.


And the Patriots made off with a win. Rough game, but a win.
I would say it was a pretty good weekend.
I'm just about ready to step into a terrific week!  I get to meet an online friend in person on Wednesday. So excited about that! Then on Thursday I will celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary. And Friday had best be 50 lost on that scale! (If not, it's OK - we are going to The Cheesecake Factory on Wednesday and then out to an Italian restaurant on Thursday).

Week 29

Down 2 pounds this week.
Total: 48.3
Hopefully next week I'll hit the 50 pounds lost mark!

Measurements....
Chest: -2.5 inches since Day One
Bust: -2.5
Upper arm: -1
Waist: -5
Hips: -2
Upper Thigh: -3 (I can really see the difference here and in my waist!)

The biggest number is in the waist. 5 inches! Wow! I have "birthing hips" as my hubs likes to say...am happy to see that area shrink, shrink, shrink. :)

-----------

This morning I ran to the gym after putting my eldest on the bus. I did a quick 10 minute cardio on the bike then onto a full body strength training workout. I really wish I had my monitor on today! I kicked my butt. Would love to know what my burn was because I felt like I worked harder and ever.

After the gym I headed on over to my last physical therapy appointment for the plantar fasciitis. I'm going to miss that...it was a great way to burn a few extra calories during the week. But, I am happy my feet are a bit better. I will still have to do all my stretches and icing. Will probably have bad days, but at least they are a bit better than they ever were. Baby steps.    We were joking about my shoulder though. She was asking when I have my follow up with that issue and wonders if she'll see me soon after that. (hope not!)

And onto the weekend. No big plans. Have a lot of running around to do and will work on getting some activity in. After today's workout, I feel like I could take on the world right now. I love this feeling!  Just have to remember that tomorrow when I don't want to do anything.

Hope you have a great weekend!

Kickin' It

What a terrific week at the gym!  I've been kicking some serious butt (mine)! I've managed to get into the gym everyday this week and have an appointment  in the nursery for the little guy for tomorrow morning.

I was hurtin' today though. I was doing my routine on the bike to start and felt like I was sucking wind and my legs were going to fall off. I had to keep the resistance down while pedaling for my life just to get my heart rate up to a reasonable level.  I decided to take it a little easy on myself tonight. My body is clearly telling me that I need a break.

Remind me to take measurements tomorrow! I am feeling smaller. Gotta love that!  I was looking at myself in the full length mirror while doing some exercises tonight and thought "Wow!  You've really lost a lot of weight". What a great feeling!

Keeping it short tonight. I am wiped out. Can't wait to see what the scale has to say for me tomorrow.

Released

I feel like I've been doing nothing but running around all over town today. I started my day with a visit to my therapist (to borrow from a friend's phrase, my "paid friend"). I had postpartum depression with my first son and have just kept seeing her. Anyway, we chatted a lot today about the next chapter for me. I was telling her how I feel like I am in some sort of a rut. Sure, the weight is coming off, but I am just going through the motions. I know I could be doing so much better if I tightened things up with my eating. I guess I am feeling really bored with the gym so I take more liberties with the food. I have to get my head completely back into the game so my weight loss can come a little smoother in the weeks/months to come.

We chatted about how maybe it's [almost] time to close the book on the first 50 pounds and start fresh. I've actually been thinking about that a lot as of late. 50 pounds is a lot of weigh. For me though, it's just about a quarter of what I have to lose. A large mountain to climb. It's almost discouraging to think that I am only a quarter of the way to where I need to be. So, when I hit the 50 pound mark I am closing that chapter and am starting fresh. Onto the next 50. I will keep a total on the side of my blog, but from 51 on it's going to read like I am starting from the beginning.

My next appointment today was with the orthopedist. Turns out I have tendonitis or bursitis. Either way he said I can go back to the gym to continue with my upper body workouts. He said to keep the weights light. Can't do chest flies or anything using the cables. He did say I could do the bench press (which is where the pain first came on), but to not extend my arm all the way and to keep the weights light. He also offered a cortisone shot which I respectfully declined. I think I've had enough of those!  He did say that I will be really sore after starting up again but it should settle down. I go back in six weeks for a follow up.

I did do an upper body workout today. The bench press is right out for me. My arm was in all kinds of discomfort. I used very light weights with everything else I did (about 50% less of what I was used to). I am feeling pretty good as of now. Hopefully this is just what I needed to get my head back in the game 100%.

And onto my final appointment; Physical Therapy.  I am happy to report that I only have one last session. I'm at about a 90% improvement rate from when I first started. I just have to keep up with my stretches and icing and should be pretty good going forward. Yes, my feet are still going to give me some pain. Yes, I am going to be frustrated some days. So long as most days are pain free, all will be right with the world.

FMM: Taboo Topics

I took the kids to the zoo today. No school being that it is Columbus Day and all. The place was packed!  This zoo is situated in the woods and is full of hills. My legs got a great workout pushing the stroller up those hills!  The only bad thing about the day was that I neglected to pack us a lunch. Ended up ordering a grilled cheese which did nothing for me. I was still starving. I did the best I could to keep the calories at a minimum and had a conversation with myself about how not to forget to pack a lunch next time! 

I will hit the gym tonight. That will also help. 

Now, onto FMM....

Now it’s time for FMM!  If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM: 8 Taboo Topics

1. How often do you read/watch the news?  The news depresses me. And often angers me. So, I will read the headlines a few times a day and choose topics I'd like to know more about. 
2. What is your opinion on beauty pageants? I hate them. Especially ones for children. I really hate that society puts so much weight into what's on the outside before looking to the inside which is where the beauty really lies. 
3. Would you date/marry someone who has different religious views than you? Ummm...I don't think my husband would like that too much. :D Seriously though, yes. If my husband was of a different religion I would have been OK with it. I love speaking with people from other religions. I'm sort of intrigued by all the different beliefs people have. 
4. Do you follow politics? Yes. A little. I have very strong opinions though so I stay away from this topic with friends. It's funny how the subject of politics can tear a friendship apart.
5. How often do you talk about sex in your daily life and/or on your blog? I talk about sex fairly regularly. I probably wouldn't discuss it on the blog though. 
6. Does it make you uncomfortable when someone asks you about your salary/income? Does it ever happen?  What bothers me the most is when people say "Oh, so do you work" or "you don't work then?" when they hear that I am a [stay-at-home] mom. Yes I work! I work very hard! I just don't get a paycheck for the work that I do. And if I did get a paycheck, I would probably make more than you anyway because of all the "jobs" I have. A mother's work is never done. I wouldn't change it for the world. Just really get my spine up with those kinds of comments. 
7. Do you tag friends and family in pictures that you post on FB, or do you seek permission first?  If it's someone I am not good friend's with, I will ask. Otherwise I just tag away. 
8. Can you be friends with people who have opposing views on ‘taboo’ topics?  Yes. So long as they are open to my ideas too. I really hate it when people shove their ideals down my throat without having any consideration for what mine might be. I think the world is a better place because we are all different. We just need to respect that and each other. 

Now it's your turn. Don't forget to link back here and to Kenlie's blog at WWW.AllTheWeigh.com